Slice

I plopped a slice of pizza down on the space next to my laptop, on the table thing that's made for using a laptop in bed. That's enough to get a little bit disgusted with my life lately. Disgusted, specifically because I'd already gotten a pretty unsettling perspective of where my life is at the moment. Though, to know that I can un-selfish-ly say my life is kinda upsetting right now, kind of puts me at ease. It's not terrible but for the first time, I can say it kinda sucks but even then I'm handling it well but I don't know for how long, within reason. Everything is terribly conditional, as well. I already dropped the ball for using the word "laptop" though; as in: "yer life dont suck, ye got a laptop". It's conditional, bruh.

My parents are far away, and so is my older sister with our dog. Before I left for Indiana, back in January I guess, I sorta stole something from Michael's house. It was a little plastic slinky toy that, of course, at some point had been tangled up. One day, I took the time to sit down and untangle it. I took it with me as a token of proof that I can totally fix things if I just work at it, even if some parts of it are still kinda messed up.

What plane of life is that thought process from, anyway? It'd definitely do something in the box office.

As it turns out, what I do though, is come "home," shower (maybe. otherwise, I just wipe my face with an acne scrub thing), toss things from one side of the room to the other, eventually find out that it's too late to begin hanging out with someone, and then stare at things on the web. Now I'm 21 though, I can drink beforehand and gain so much weight. The alternative is actually hanging out with friends, which just makes me anxious about when I'll come back so I can make it to work in the morning. I wake up 15 minutes before work, and show up 3 minutes late. I'm anxious about one of my bosses making the decision to train me on the cash register. I don't want to, I just wanna come in and do the same thing and go home.

The slice of pizza I was eating, though, I got from Matthew who works right next to where I work. One of my most recent oldest friends. I was there hanging out for a bit last night, where I actually bought a sandwich for the hell of it. I wasn't hungry that time, and I wasn't hungry this time. In theory, I ought to save the food for the morning, so I have a reason to wake up. Doesn't work out. Before that, though, I was with a different set of friends. The type of friends that just make me act like a "nice, funny guy". With roommates and coworkers, I'm just "nice" because I need some sort of caution when it comes to the two things that are kinda necessary. I'm nice with these kids though because the caution comes from eh i dont know. Tryna get the summertime high school experience.

Yeah though. Incomplete thoughts, and for that reason, I'm totally not gonna.