Match

When the good part of the day and the bad part kind of swap places. When you forget to reward yourself, at some point. When, whatever that smell is. It's true. "Everyone in that building is lost-it-in-life." Of course, a phrase about which there is no telling who sees it as a common thing.

I must be dim-witted. Sorry, but no time. I was proud of myself, then I just realized that I am not doing what I told myself I was going to think about doing. It's not my fault, really. In other words, I may just be sluggish. No time to say a full sentence and keep in mind the fact that you know how each person responds. Just really no time. It's a mix of the cause, and just prevention.

Why don't I, though? How am I not? The kids are walking out with one dollar bills again. Yeah, the common theme of today. "Do something new." Something to cause you to travel. Kind of like the whole mix-up at baggage claim or whatever. My luggage is doing what I want to be doing.

Actual mood change. Forcing my stomach. This guy has dollars, and I have no dollars. Not the case, actually. Neck-to-neck. I probably just have to walk around the right disaster. One person in mind, involving that disaster. One person in mind, involving luggage. One person in mind, involving dollars. Then, a different race of person, involving proud.

I'm glad. Make me feel surprised. An understandingly weary high-five of open-mindedness. Clear juxtaposition: "I have never heard you say one normal sentence." Then, I respond with a "normal" sentence, and it doesn't click. I teach elders math, and how to spell. Elders, or the better term, that should "teach" me.

Yes, if you can look past the idea that must be far out there. Look past that, and see that there is some good in coming to your past, from the future. Just in order to understand how to appreciate things you don't even like. Despise is still gross. Ecstatic for homeworks, and dumb videos. Still. I'm sluggish. Just to tune out. I must go nowhere. If only I was ok with nothing on top of nothing. No confusion between busy and other busy.

Fade, or something.

Not A Trend.

Woke up and had to get ready to go to the airport, right away.
I ate cereal. The last from my own personal box. I dressed up in a light blue polo over a my "Jesus Loves You" white t-shirt. I put on khaki pants and my red hoodie. Felt like I looked good, or other way around.

We did our business at the airport, which was to ask 3 people 2 different things, each. Simple. Then, my mom and I went to get 2 free bagels with coupons. I felt embarrassed because I was using half a brain. I should have gotten a sweet flavor and an orange juice to have made it worth while and dignified. I got plain everything, untoasted. Like I said, half a brain.

Drove through Paces Ferry and all that, which I realize is more familiar than I thought, and I stayed in the car while she shopped. That was all for that. I spent today reading about exploitation films. I tried to watch them, but I felt like I was wasting time. One of those dressed up days. It was sunny, too. Yikes. Now, that I look back, something about today better pay off.

I feel lively, but ashamed. I got a few good ideas, out of it though. Except they're the kind destined to be lost in time. Literally. I took time to try to knock something of my to-do list, which was "look through Fondue Social for offensive material." Easy, but at this point it seemed in vain because there has got to be a more convenient way. I've thought of releasing it in separate parts on plain paper, redoing each thing in there as a comic strip, and making it into an e-book. It's one of those situations where it looks less glorious the more I have to look at it. I don't appreciate it as much. I need an assistant. Not really, but some sort of adviser.

No obvious solution for the major problem. A secret solution for the recurring problem.

Let's Watch.

Firework Mistakes.

Ok cool, I get to tell how New Year's went.

It starts on the night before New Year's Eve. Nothing happened, but I did just kind of pick up this composition book that I had been waiting to steal. I tried to write down this topic that had finally manifested itself in the last month of the year. That whole flip flop between trust and buying houses for your friends.

Then, I slept because I guess that last part was close to irrelevant. I woke up and kind of hid in the room I was sleeping because there were people talking. I was treated to breakfast, met up with Nick and Alex. All of us, excluding Alex, went back to Hank's and kind of recharged or whatever for the night ahead. My intention was to at least take a shower and kind of freshen up, hell, so I could impress some folks. Did that, I guess, and spent a lot of the time I was there looking through a 2006 yearbook, which was my freshman year actually. I also helped with the unclogging of this lint filter on the side of Hank's house. I don't know how much time we spent there, but when it got dark we had three pizzas. Oh man. Then, how Hank eats chicken wings.

Night began. Alex picked Nick and I up, I had to run back in to get my jackets and dress shirt. She brought a pizza box from her house. We went to Nick's house so Nick could get a shower while Alex and I went to the other Alex's house so that they could go over some blood money. We went back to Nicks, picked him up and they had to go to the bank. They were going to go to that other party, so it was decided that I'd wait at Kroger for the Briana party to start at 9:30.

At the store, I talked to Andrew for about 20 minutes to pass time. Then, I left and went to my favorite bathroom to stall some more. Stared at myself in the mirror, and shaved. Ha. Then, I started to walk toward the party. I crossed the empty street, and when I ran, money fell out of my pockets. Some change, I mean. I picked some of it up, but that's when the cars decided to show up. Right as I got near the high school, I remember I was kind of talking to myself trying to explain "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers" to myself when someone called my name. Surprise. Turned around to see Bryttne, who I went to school with, and her mom looking for the same party. Luckily, I know where it is, so I hopped in and we showed up. It was odd because I was invited, but I didn't see the invitation so I didn't know if I missed anything. I was literally there for like 30 minutes kind of on edge as usual, until Nick and Alex came back to pick me up to go to the Buy Wag party. Oh man, these guys again. Not really. It was 10 o clock and it took us 27 minutes to get there. We saw Hank leaving as soon as we got there.

I hesitated to walk in because it was just flashbacks of went down here, last time. We went in fine, and as soon as I made it to the living room I hear bunches of people excited to see me for some reason. I was humble about it since I was kind of freaking out about the place anyway. On one side, I would have wanted to stay since I got such a welcoming but hell, this place is this place. So we left after about 10 minutes. All of us went back to the Briana party, where I had decided I wanted to be there when the year changed. Me and Nick sat and ate their "puppy chow" mostly. Then, he and Alex left there after a while. I was pretty good by that time so it was all alright. I got tiny, yet valuable, pieces of praise when I was there. Man named Scott said I posted awesome statuses on the old facebarn. The man from Slumdog Millionaire said I looked enough like Jacob from the Twilight movies. A Michael complimented my videos. Another man named Michael. I know them both, of course, but in this case, they're Michaels. Harry was there for some reason, and I didn't recognize him at first. I got Robert Smith's hat. Then, they fire works. I mean, somewhere in there was when we moved to the living room to do the countdown.

Later on of course, I got anxious again, so I used Vinisha's phone to send Nick a message, asking where he was. He was already at the party Justin had put together. Ha, have to explain that later, too. Still with the phone, I walked into the hall to call Hank to see if he would still pick me up and take me either back to Buy Men, or to Justin's. Right when I got him to figure out that it was me, Briana's dad walked by me and grabbed the phone from my hand and starting shouting things into it. First time feeling that uneasy this year. I got the phone back to find out that Hank had already gotten settled for the night. Then I remembered. Bryttne's mom had said "if you see her leaving at about 1 o clock, then you can hop in and get a ride" or something. Gah, so I actually did. Then, I went to Justin's.

I showed up. One of these nights from the week before, basically. Hugged. Walked right to the kitchen to get a drink because I was kind of done for the night. Then Jessica came and made it clear that she wasn't 100% comfortable there and she left after a bit. Made sense. I remember feeling this sensation of how I was slowly becoming what everybody else was and comparing it to how it must feel to...become a.. eh whatever. Then, Chase approached me and kind of advised me that I should start trying to get girls or something. It was a surprisingly decent conversation, but I couldn't really explain it the same way it happened. As the topic turned into 'torrents,' Denzel was there, and he kind of just stood and kept his distance from the other folks at the party and he talked to me for a second.

One thing I find about this year so far, is that I can just talk to people for some reason. Don't let anybody tell you that the New Year isn't significant.

Although I tried to drag the party outside in homage to New Year's 2008, the night just kind of ended indoors, and I just kind of kept to myself from then on. The next morning, who knows what. All that was going to happen was that Justin was being taken back to the airport. Early enough, there had been some pictures from the night posted. Everyone kind of left, but Justin and I were still there waiting on "Aunt" Christine and James to get ready to go to the airport. When they were ready, Justin asked to see Mr. K one last time before he left. So, that was it for Justin. I was the last one of his friends to talk to him, I suppose. Last thing he told me was "ras." Appropriate, though.

James and Christine went ahead to buy me a thing from Taco Bell before dropping me off at the square, as I requested. No such thing in coincidences these days. I was compelled to walk into ol' Cool Beans, for warmth and bathroom. I never walk into that place. I walked through, pretended not to see them, and went to the bathroom and talked to myself for a second. Walked back out and oh there was them two from Buy Wag last night. Ha. Talked to them for like an hour, as Cool Beans actually closed early or somethin. They left, and I walked to Waffle House righ quick. Called Alex and she came and got me, and besides the fact that my sister came and got me from Nick's, I guess that's the end. Heh.

Then I came back here, and finally decided on my resolutions. There was a point to this, I suppose.