Yeah, well, it's October.
Another shame for me, though. Today, I mean.
Still, it sets the tone. I'm not all crash landing on whether or not Fall is coming.
It's alright.
Hm.
Change of mood, here. It's nice, now. Maybe the music. Female singers. Like, when it's ok.
Did I do anything today? That's got to be the ultimate question. I'm betting, in the end of that type of phase, the answer some how ends up "it doesn't matter". It's all just like that little magnetic wheel gadget. It's just as fun to make it go up as it is to make it go down. Yeah. Yeahh. Feels good.
Oop. Sucks. Ah well. Oh that's right. Turns out that I overlooked something. Nah, I won't worry. Kind of a shame, actually. I need to be disappointed. Not really, I don't feel that way.
Yeah, I've got nothing to say.
And I'm not just saying that I've got nothing to day.
Because I don't have nothing to say. Thinking and feeling.
"Terror".
If only someone was devoted to my language.
Now.
Showing posts with label blah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blah. Show all posts
Friday, October 1, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Praise
To be honest, my sense of self.
I'm sort of believing that there were some points where I did change who I was. I just didn't necessarily agree with that plausibility. I don't want to say that I change who I am everyday, every hour, or more likely- by the year. Plus my sense of self may actually be "inflating." I'm actually not showing any signs of narcissism, so this must just be encouragement. Sounds like people want me to move forward. Good because once it's televised, someone else can point out whether or not I change by the season.
It also makes me blatantly dread "work." Nah, I can't tell anyone that I work. I can't tell anyone what I think about college. My standards is what keeps me away from college. Generally, it's just that I can't find a school that's good enough for me, at this point. That's what it sounds like. Under that, the reasoning is that I wasn't really singled out in high school just because I did sort of have too much of a high standard for.. not sure I remember what I told myself earlier. Still, it made sense that I was more of a "perfectionist" on the way out. Leaving was just some fire exit. Now I think I'd kind of... "make school my bitch" as it goes. There's the problem. One of them. I was too good to do what I had to do to set myself up for college, and now I'm too good to take baby steps. Well, I shouldn't punish myself with these words. I was "too good" because I shouldn't have been responsible for that whole 3-year long stint I had with geometry. I'm sorry, but Geometry in my life is absolutely absurd. Aneurysm worthy. It's a great form of math, I know- it's technically right up my alley, but it's literally someone sticking their leg out for me to fall right on my nose. Clearly fate. I know that I know Geometry. Well, in all honesty- all honesty, old female teachers will not teach me math.
What I mean is that I couldn't just make up for the time I missed while the rest of my class sat back and said "yeah, dude." Actually. Odd history between math and I. Still, I was too good to spend time out of school to make up for something that will not be my fault. As a result, I have not taken my SATs. I still have no idea what grades I left school with. Oh my god. Horror in realizing that the only time I've explained that was in my job interview. "Yeah, I was pretty good in school." Eh ok that's enough. I was just unaware of what grades really were until 11th grade. I'm just not sure what all this says about me. Not bad, really.
ok. It's true, I may be giving away all the mystery of what once was "the famous 'Pito'" but if someone is doing that much research, then the word "famous" can't really fade. I don't mean insults.. it can't really sound like that. Still, the mystery doesn't lie in the everyday reality.. Actually it might. Nevermind. Still- glad someone knows that I "need to get out of this place." The anonymous "place." I know it won't mean this house, specifically, but I appreciate the concern. I lack aggression, therefore I owe it to some folks to get out of here. I'm already halfway done. I suppose that's why health can't matter much, anymore. All that anyone is waiting for, is for one of those people who care to actually be themselves multiplied. An agreement is what will give me who's I am.
Sort of brings to mind another example of high standards. Also another reason I am cautious of college. I'll start out by explaining how I wouldn't want to get any book published by some publishing company. I'm referring to Justin's situation with Charlie D. I am almost afraid to see him get published in that horrifying way. Some company, "yeah some writer wrote some stuff, he'll make us some dollars." Record labels, talent scouts, college, skateboarding... teams? I get the illusion that I'm holding the string of a balloon, but the balloon is actually just a big sack of meat. A whale, caught in some net. Other people have to give us a boost. That's the rule. Kind of like my mom's fear of being under things (ie airplanes, bridges). That's why I've been giving myself so much more than I can chew. I'm trying to do it allllll by myself. Compensation makes sense, somewhere. I need someone to directly respond to this, and tell me to quit.
Hell, ok. Why not a conclusion to standards that involves some mmm hot topic of relationship? Well, that's actually just an entire other thing I was more willing to explain, about a week ago. Point is- these things that attribute to my "inflated sense of self" (which should no longer be referred to as such) cause me to think that I can only be involved with a certain female that has a lot of absurd features. I read about this, too. I may cause myself to believe... actually I see no reason not to. I'm in control. Anyway, what I was saying is that, blah, causes of someone's definition of "obsessive love." Actually, yeah. This is very irrelevant, now. It'll come off wrong, either way. You know when you have something that you knew you were supposed to explain eventually, and it just gets brought up at the wrong time? Yea. Somewhere, in here.
If only I were tired often. I would be ok with a bunch of me's running around. Not in that way, though. Just, sleep would be too important for me to not live in the wild.
Caution tape. Pile.
I'm sort of believing that there were some points where I did change who I was. I just didn't necessarily agree with that plausibility. I don't want to say that I change who I am everyday, every hour, or more likely- by the year. Plus my sense of self may actually be "inflating." I'm actually not showing any signs of narcissism, so this must just be encouragement. Sounds like people want me to move forward. Good because once it's televised, someone else can point out whether or not I change by the season.
It also makes me blatantly dread "work." Nah, I can't tell anyone that I work. I can't tell anyone what I think about college. My standards is what keeps me away from college. Generally, it's just that I can't find a school that's good enough for me, at this point. That's what it sounds like. Under that, the reasoning is that I wasn't really singled out in high school just because I did sort of have too much of a high standard for.. not sure I remember what I told myself earlier. Still, it made sense that I was more of a "perfectionist" on the way out. Leaving was just some fire exit. Now I think I'd kind of... "make school my bitch" as it goes. There's the problem. One of them. I was too good to do what I had to do to set myself up for college, and now I'm too good to take baby steps. Well, I shouldn't punish myself with these words. I was "too good" because I shouldn't have been responsible for that whole 3-year long stint I had with geometry. I'm sorry, but Geometry in my life is absolutely absurd. Aneurysm worthy. It's a great form of math, I know- it's technically right up my alley, but it's literally someone sticking their leg out for me to fall right on my nose. Clearly fate. I know that I know Geometry. Well, in all honesty- all honesty, old female teachers will not teach me math.
What I mean is that I couldn't just make up for the time I missed while the rest of my class sat back and said "yeah, dude." Actually. Odd history between math and I. Still, I was too good to spend time out of school to make up for something that will not be my fault. As a result, I have not taken my SATs. I still have no idea what grades I left school with. Oh my god. Horror in realizing that the only time I've explained that was in my job interview. "Yeah, I was pretty good in school." Eh ok that's enough. I was just unaware of what grades really were until 11th grade. I'm just not sure what all this says about me. Not bad, really.
ok. It's true, I may be giving away all the mystery of what once was "the famous 'Pito'" but if someone is doing that much research, then the word "famous" can't really fade. I don't mean insults.. it can't really sound like that. Still, the mystery doesn't lie in the everyday reality.. Actually it might. Nevermind. Still- glad someone knows that I "need to get out of this place." The anonymous "place." I know it won't mean this house, specifically, but I appreciate the concern. I lack aggression, therefore I owe it to some folks to get out of here. I'm already halfway done. I suppose that's why health can't matter much, anymore. All that anyone is waiting for, is for one of those people who care to actually be themselves multiplied. An agreement is what will give me who's I am.
Sort of brings to mind another example of high standards. Also another reason I am cautious of college. I'll start out by explaining how I wouldn't want to get any book published by some publishing company. I'm referring to Justin's situation with Charlie D. I am almost afraid to see him get published in that horrifying way. Some company, "yeah some writer wrote some stuff, he'll make us some dollars." Record labels, talent scouts, college, skateboarding... teams? I get the illusion that I'm holding the string of a balloon, but the balloon is actually just a big sack of meat. A whale, caught in some net. Other people have to give us a boost. That's the rule. Kind of like my mom's fear of being under things (ie airplanes, bridges). That's why I've been giving myself so much more than I can chew. I'm trying to do it allllll by myself. Compensation makes sense, somewhere. I need someone to directly respond to this, and tell me to quit.
Hell, ok. Why not a conclusion to standards that involves some mmm hot topic of relationship? Well, that's actually just an entire other thing I was more willing to explain, about a week ago. Point is- these things that attribute to my "inflated sense of self" (which should no longer be referred to as such) cause me to think that I can only be involved with a certain female that has a lot of absurd features. I read about this, too. I may cause myself to believe... actually I see no reason not to. I'm in control. Anyway, what I was saying is that, blah, causes of someone's definition of "obsessive love." Actually, yeah. This is very irrelevant, now. It'll come off wrong, either way. You know when you have something that you knew you were supposed to explain eventually, and it just gets brought up at the wrong time? Yea. Somewhere, in here.
If only I were tired often. I would be ok with a bunch of me's running around. Not in that way, though. Just, sleep would be too important for me to not live in the wild.
Caution tape. Pile.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Match
When the good part of the day and the bad part kind of swap places. When you forget to reward yourself, at some point. When, whatever that smell is. It's true. "Everyone in that building is lost-it-in-life." Of course, a phrase about which there is no telling who sees it as a common thing.
I must be dim-witted. Sorry, but no time. I was proud of myself, then I just realized that I am not doing what I told myself I was going to think about doing. It's not my fault, really. In other words, I may just be sluggish. No time to say a full sentence and keep in mind the fact that you know how each person responds. Just really no time. It's a mix of the cause, and just prevention.
Why don't I, though? How am I not? The kids are walking out with one dollar bills again. Yeah, the common theme of today. "Do something new." Something to cause you to travel. Kind of like the whole mix-up at baggage claim or whatever. My luggage is doing what I want to be doing.
Actual mood change. Forcing my stomach. This guy has dollars, and I have no dollars. Not the case, actually. Neck-to-neck. I probably just have to walk around the right disaster. One person in mind, involving that disaster. One person in mind, involving luggage. One person in mind, involving dollars. Then, a different race of person, involving proud.
I'm glad. Make me feel surprised. An understandingly weary high-five of open-mindedness. Clear juxtaposition: "I have never heard you say one normal sentence." Then, I respond with a "normal" sentence, and it doesn't click. I teach elders math, and how to spell. Elders, or the better term, that should "teach" me.
Yes, if you can look past the idea that must be far out there. Look past that, and see that there is some good in coming to your past, from the future. Just in order to understand how to appreciate things you don't even like. Despise is still gross. Ecstatic for homeworks, and dumb videos. Still. I'm sluggish. Just to tune out. I must go nowhere. If only I was ok with nothing on top of nothing. No confusion between busy and other busy.
Fade, or something.
I must be dim-witted. Sorry, but no time. I was proud of myself, then I just realized that I am not doing what I told myself I was going to think about doing. It's not my fault, really. In other words, I may just be sluggish. No time to say a full sentence and keep in mind the fact that you know how each person responds. Just really no time. It's a mix of the cause, and just prevention.
Why don't I, though? How am I not? The kids are walking out with one dollar bills again. Yeah, the common theme of today. "Do something new." Something to cause you to travel. Kind of like the whole mix-up at baggage claim or whatever. My luggage is doing what I want to be doing.
Actual mood change. Forcing my stomach. This guy has dollars, and I have no dollars. Not the case, actually. Neck-to-neck. I probably just have to walk around the right disaster. One person in mind, involving that disaster. One person in mind, involving luggage. One person in mind, involving dollars. Then, a different race of person, involving proud.
I'm glad. Make me feel surprised. An understandingly weary high-five of open-mindedness. Clear juxtaposition: "I have never heard you say one normal sentence." Then, I respond with a "normal" sentence, and it doesn't click. I teach elders math, and how to spell. Elders, or the better term, that should "teach" me.
Yes, if you can look past the idea that must be far out there. Look past that, and see that there is some good in coming to your past, from the future. Just in order to understand how to appreciate things you don't even like. Despise is still gross. Ecstatic for homeworks, and dumb videos. Still. I'm sluggish. Just to tune out. I must go nowhere. If only I was ok with nothing on top of nothing. No confusion between busy and other busy.
Fade, or something.
Monday, March 8, 2010
This Is Yesterday
I woke up 'this' morning just thinking about getting a phone. So, later I did just get one. It's actually pretty great, I don't see what the fuss is. My mom was going that way, so she kind of helped me get there and so it went. Asked for exactly what i was looking for and I got it. Almost too simple.
Well, of course since I was already in mom's car, I ended up going to where she was going. Pep Boys, hah. She was getting her tires rotated. I was actually planning on going to the high school to see whoever it is I should see. Of course, tire rotations take a while, mostly for it to be our turn. Still, I guess it gave me the chance to try out what i can do with my new... phone.
Eventually I was back home, and Nick and Alex were coming over. Blah and then we ended up just going to Nick's and all this other drain drain. Alex left and it became one of those nights again. Except it was one of those nights plus a phone. I guess I have to work my way up to other types of nights except plus a phone. Just a lot of junk that goes missing each time, that I have to piece together. nothing I'm interested in, but.. narnia.
Well, I was in the middle of something so.
Well, of course since I was already in mom's car, I ended up going to where she was going. Pep Boys, hah. She was getting her tires rotated. I was actually planning on going to the high school to see whoever it is I should see. Of course, tire rotations take a while, mostly for it to be our turn. Still, I guess it gave me the chance to try out what i can do with my new... phone.
Eventually I was back home, and Nick and Alex were coming over. Blah and then we ended up just going to Nick's and all this other drain drain. Alex left and it became one of those nights again. Except it was one of those nights plus a phone. I guess I have to work my way up to other types of nights except plus a phone. Just a lot of junk that goes missing each time, that I have to piece together. nothing I'm interested in, but.. narnia.
Well, I was in the middle of something so.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Keep On Going Further
Back cracks. "This doesn't exist until I put it on the paper."
Laundry, then scouting for some "we buy golds." Not really, just the one in the mall. Felt bad for some reason, but we got a check. Yeah. If we get messed up, then oh well. Turns out, I'm not greedy, though. Good to know. Oh and before that, we sold 2 dvd's. I got $4.38 store credit. See, not too bad. What I was expecting. Finally deposited that check, and ok should stop talking about money. Just the case.
Heh, since no one else'd find it interesting, I kind of have to mention that leprechaun I saw yesterday, peeking out from behind the corner in the one gold place we went to. Now just one of those nights where I watch interviews. Sorry, but today was just more moment.
That's enough.
Laundry, then scouting for some "we buy golds." Not really, just the one in the mall. Felt bad for some reason, but we got a check. Yeah. If we get messed up, then oh well. Turns out, I'm not greedy, though. Good to know. Oh and before that, we sold 2 dvd's. I got $4.38 store credit. See, not too bad. What I was expecting. Finally deposited that check, and ok should stop talking about money. Just the case.
Heh, since no one else'd find it interesting, I kind of have to mention that leprechaun I saw yesterday, peeking out from behind the corner in the one gold place we went to. Now just one of those nights where I watch interviews. Sorry, but today was just more moment.
That's enough.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Nap
Just woke up, right quick. Ate that slice of carrot cake that I was trying to save room for. It's ok, though. Worked the bulk section. I was out of it, today. Self-esteem, kinda. Eh.
Actually, last night, I knew that at some point today my mood'd be altered by the fact that I'd become sleepy later on. Just sleepy, not the other mood alternators.
Activated debit card, two days off tomorrow and the day after. First weekend in a while, and it's not even on a weekend. I have somewhat of a little day planned for tomorrow, though. Nothing huge, but just a casual errand day. That I approve of.
Then, next Friday, I get to go to the aquarium. So, I'm good. Oh yeah, this one mad who gave the vibe of a stand-up comedian was talking to me today. Talking about health foods and giving off the aura of a confident worker. He must know a thing or two. Literally.
ok, plus I was probably subconsciously slipped the notion of wanting to eat lasagna for dinner tonight, now that I think about it. Alright, already ashamed of wasting space for today.
Heap.
Actually, last night, I knew that at some point today my mood'd be altered by the fact that I'd become sleepy later on. Just sleepy, not the other mood alternators.
Activated debit card, two days off tomorrow and the day after. First weekend in a while, and it's not even on a weekend. I have somewhat of a little day planned for tomorrow, though. Nothing huge, but just a casual errand day. That I approve of.
Then, next Friday, I get to go to the aquarium. So, I'm good. Oh yeah, this one mad who gave the vibe of a stand-up comedian was talking to me today. Talking about health foods and giving off the aura of a confident worker. He must know a thing or two. Literally.
ok, plus I was probably subconsciously slipped the notion of wanting to eat lasagna for dinner tonight, now that I think about it. Alright, already ashamed of wasting space for today.
Heap.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Study
Today would and could have been, and probably is, a day set aside for "studying." The fact that this is probably my 'homework.' Yeah, I mean. I kind of subtly did nothing today. I was wearing pajamas for the first act. I still wasn't sure if work, or something. I feel like I'm hiding from a person. Oh man.
Tash came over, and brought some dvd's. My goal was for her to kind of bring me some movies to get ideas from. Ideas. Ha, it's probably not the case but specifically I had her bring that.. Faster Pussnen Cast, Klid! Klid! By Ross Mayor. That was the highlight, apparently.
I guess anxious because it's like on hold. Oh yeah, crarp. I have to celebray next month.
Alright, yeah actually getting more and more anxious. ok, I'm going to make sure I see this every time I skim through this.
ok.
Tash came over, and brought some dvd's. My goal was for her to kind of bring me some movies to get ideas from. Ideas. Ha, it's probably not the case but specifically I had her bring that.. Faster Pussnen Cast, Klid! Klid! By Ross Mayor. That was the highlight, apparently.
I guess anxious because it's like on hold. Oh yeah, crarp. I have to celebray next month.
Alright, yeah actually getting more and more anxious. ok, I'm going to make sure I see this every time I skim through this.
If it didn't work out by now, then leave!
(a note to self.) I want to make sure I can fall back on certain..ty? ok, and no telling if I actually made it a point to "write" everyday this year but so far I basically did. I mean, I do want to make sure I remember each of the days just in case. And kind of to see if every single day actually exists.ok.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Precautionary though
I'm full. Listening to MC MassMurder. Where is he, actually? January 14th, apparently. Now he's out somewhere. Hopefully soon, though.
Alright, I didn't want to wake up as early as I did. I got dressed and went to that job interview at my sister's job. It was incredibly easy going, and I guess I became more optimistic about it at one point. It wasn't really an interview type of interview until later, though. That's when it got kind of aggravating, I guess. The worst thing is that ringing sound. Hopefully, I won't be near it. Eh. No, "ugh" actually.
After that, I opened up a checking account. Put in that $100 I was secretive about, on Tuesday. The bank on the square. We left, and I was just kind of down in the dumps or whatever. Not in a good mood. Like, a human type of 'bad mood' that you can say "aw cheer up" to. Just morose, or whatever. My iPod shuffled in order to basically tell me to cheer up. Well, oh well. I can a appreciate a bad mood, once in a while.
So, tomorrow I come in to work, basically at 7:30. I'm supposed to learn how to open. Oop. Hopefully some good will come out of is.
Today.
Alright, I didn't want to wake up as early as I did. I got dressed and went to that job interview at my sister's job. It was incredibly easy going, and I guess I became more optimistic about it at one point. It wasn't really an interview type of interview until later, though. That's when it got kind of aggravating, I guess. The worst thing is that ringing sound. Hopefully, I won't be near it. Eh. No, "ugh" actually.
After that, I opened up a checking account. Put in that $100 I was secretive about, on Tuesday. The bank on the square. We left, and I was just kind of down in the dumps or whatever. Not in a good mood. Like, a human type of 'bad mood' that you can say "aw cheer up" to. Just morose, or whatever. My iPod shuffled in order to basically tell me to cheer up. Well, oh well. I can a appreciate a bad mood, once in a while.
So, tomorrow I come in to work, basically at 7:30. I'm supposed to learn how to open. Oop. Hopefully some good will come out of is.
Today.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Greedy, kinda.
Well, I've been planning how I'm going to omit the highlight of my day for a while. Today was at least not one to be overlooked, I guess. Same as yesterday, I woke up and went straight to the mall (instead of the airport.) Yeah, but I did eat pancakes, though. I was laughing all the way back from the mall, too. I guess it was a genuine example of the feeling of 'joy.'
Whoa forgot this was going on. But yeah, on the way back I picked up my stuff from Nick's car. I'm missing the black t-shirt from my bag. I caught them as they were leaving to go on a "double date." Feels like amoebas. Hm, Buzz Lightyear.
I guess I actually did nothing, then. Today was probably just a catalyst for things to come. Last thing I did on the internet, last night was read about that whole film noir thing that I realize I know a thing or one about. Hah.
Whoa forgot this was going on. But yeah, on the way back I picked up my stuff from Nick's car. I'm missing the black t-shirt from my bag. I caught them as they were leaving to go on a "double date." Feels like amoebas. Hm, Buzz Lightyear.
I guess I actually did nothing, then. Today was probably just a catalyst for things to come. Last thing I did on the internet, last night was read about that whole film noir thing that I realize I know a thing or one about. Hah.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Retire
Hey, how's it goin'. I feel pretty beat. Actually hesitated when I wanted to say "pooped" in my own personal thing. That's even worse.
Ok, tonight was when Tasha's uncle Mickey came to visit. Went to thrift stores and wal-mart. Ate food, and Chaz came by.
I woke at Hank's house this morning, and I got a peanut butter and jelly smoothie. It's ok, it was breakfast. I actually haven't had appetite.
I've actually been kind of dismissive and tuned out for the majority of today. Kind of hard to snap out of it and live the moments once you've decided what's wrong with the picture. The longer the day is, the more people it could accommodate- but it doesn't. Short days happen when there's a lot of people.
I hadn't been makin' promises. So, good.
Ok, tonight was when Tasha's uncle Mickey came to visit. Went to thrift stores and wal-mart. Ate food, and Chaz came by.
I woke at Hank's house this morning, and I got a peanut butter and jelly smoothie. It's ok, it was breakfast. I actually haven't had appetite.
I've actually been kind of dismissive and tuned out for the majority of today. Kind of hard to snap out of it and live the moments once you've decided what's wrong with the picture. The longer the day is, the more people it could accommodate- but it doesn't. Short days happen when there's a lot of people.
I hadn't been makin' promises. So, good.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
At Least A Little Variation
ok, not to sound like "New Fashion Line Coming out in 2 Months" but still.
Here, I guess I'm warming up. Warming up, though....something I'd rather avoid because it's hot. No it's just so hot. No it's really not fair. Ouch ridiculous.
I'm still trying to find my "backdoor" because this is not living up to my standards. No. I will not take it, I am above. For sure.
Well, I guess it's time to set up the old online bank account. And I guess I'm not getting any answers from myself, so this is headed nowhere.
Ah craig.
Here, I guess I'm warming up. Warming up, though....something I'd rather avoid because it's hot. No it's just so hot. No it's really not fair. Ouch ridiculous.
I'm still trying to find my "backdoor" because this is not living up to my standards. No. I will not take it, I am above. For sure.
Well, I guess it's time to set up the old online bank account. And I guess I'm not getting any answers from myself, so this is headed nowhere.
Ah craig.
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About Me
- Peetoes
- Well, as far as I can tell.. I am a man now, but like... I am a guy who thinks he has like good morals and virtues or something but also thinking those are stupid therefore coming off as a bad prick rather than a good prick.