Even

Alright, so an update on the hospital junk is in order, right? Well, yes, my dad is doing fine. Nick is in the hospital though. Blood clot in lung. Hrmph.

Well, yesterday. Too many things, really. Should have visited my dad, somehow. Should have watched the Little 5 Halloween parade. Should have met my friends at the air show. No progress made, in the least. Eh, those are days when I end up stacking more responsibilities. Not taking advantage of too many things to do becomes free time which becomes more things to do. I'm just waiting for myself to get stressed out, which I thought couldn't possibly happen but there's a chance it could sneak up on me. It can end up "people do that all the time, and they actually do stuff for a living," insulting the fact that I am not doing crappy physical labor or it can just be the fact that maybe my steady-yet-straying attention span won't allow it. You know. Because I am constantly paying attention to a lot of things. Hell, i don't know.

Whoop, a hospital pic of my dad just appeared. Heh. Weird to see. I'm actually just waiting for this to be over with. All people can do about family in the hospital.. gah. Gloating. That's despicable. I don't care who thinks I'm not doing anything to support. I am. This is what I would do in this situation. Let's face it. No telling what it says about me. Still, I know my dad knows better than those others who are blowing it out of pr... you know what, forget it. It's only going to sound like I'm aggravated. This is like one of those things famous people do on reality shows. Complaining about exploitation or feigning sympathy. I won't. No use in complaining about what people actually do. I mean, you can tell yourself it's a plot device and all that crap, you can tell yourself that's just how some people are, or you can tell yourself it's a difference between: men and women, feelers and thinkers, or intellect. Whatever. It's only going to top off my latest confusion about how many ridiculous opinions there are in the world. Er, the opinions themselves are never really ridiculous, but that fact that there is no "the" thing. No one wins, actually. Hm.

How I react in situations merely becomes "sit and watch". Mreh. So, I really just want to say that everything I do is a sterile reaction to the world. Really. Really. I have to be purely reacting the way things show up. The way they appear. It has to be. I mean, this is really not an opinion about myself in the world. It is what it actually is. As long as it doesn't look like I'm singling myself out for some stupid self-centered approval. Like, you get to a certain point after you've heard loads of things and thought lots of ways where you just keep talking despite all the ways you'd have to be contradicting yourself.

Hell, whatever. I'm fine. Oh wait, other folks are in pain.

Speak

"Forget looking good! I am in pain!" - Just written down, here. Reminds me, "when I hear the word 'freedom,' I think of a sandwich." Has to be.

Ok, well, I've been getting word that there's possibilities of a good weekend. It kind of presents itself as either a climax or a reward. Like a way to point out that things don't happen according to the written record of weeks, months, and hot dates. Ouch.

Yeah, though. Whoa, I accidentally, heh, "good" weekend. I mean. Hell, it's positive. Anyway, mine and their days off. Experimentals. Then, just every day I try to tickle the thought of happen-to-be. Just, the entire time, my chest hurts worse than a lot of things. Might need a bigger boat, though.

If I don't get anxious, then I have a treasure chest. I have a bruised treasure chest. An embarrassing chest that has gained me a green bruise of a golden chest. If it spreads, then I can't do much for treasure. Hard to keep my posture.

Who is letting me do these things? Flawless. I will pack my opening statement, my review, my resume, and my pitch. Some head-shots. Just to prove that I am able to get away with hopping the fence. My poor eyebrows. They've had it the worst.

Trouble, too. Not here, but in old words from today. Old worlds from today. All the same hour- I dare you to travel. I hope you do not enjoy your trip- that's mine. Not mine, though.

Almost as if my fingers are just too good for this. Wow, I walked around in those places, and I hope you will too. I've been planting the scenery as well because I can't remember these places not looking familiar. He's some non-exist. I hope there's a shooting. That megaphone. Thank goodness, nah go for God. More relevant.

Allowed to. Tips of these things. Nah, it's ok. I'm in pain, with no response. Familiarity, all over again. Ouch. Why don't people who claim to be in pain repeat the word "ouch" just in case some one hears? "Wow, you must hurt pretty bad, lol. What's going on?"

No, ouch, though.

Cold Supposed

Today is just generally a "cold" day. That's the basis. Other things are little sprouts from just the factor that it feels these temperatures when you're outside. It stings.

I woke up and I was having these dreams, kind of while I was waking up and then when I was awake. I don't know. I dreamt that I was at a combination of Woodpointe (apartments by the school, where Nick lives) and what is now called Madison at the Knolls (where I used to live.) I was having an internal debate on whether or not I should be trying to impress a certain point. It was already a situation where things would end up negative because of how things always go in the past, but when I didn't think about it- I was kind of impressive. Then, when I thought about it, I wasn't able to control what I was saying and then I had to keep making up for what I was saying. That's how my dreams are. Hah, that's that scheme of how all my old dreams used to be. Good to know I actually am back. Oh and there were breakfast burritos there, too. When I kind of woke up, I tried to focus on that dream for a while and I think I ended up falling into another dream that kind of continued it. My debate that I was having caused my to try to prove to everyone that I was having this debate, so I went as far as to take a bus for no reason. On the bus, there were some folks I had went to school with [now that I think about it, they might've been the ones I happened to see the last time I rode the bus.] and they were kind of shouting or something. I listened, and when I realized that I was on this bus for no reason, I tried to find the thing you pull to get off. I think I woke up.

Oh and before all of that, I think I had a pretty stressful dream. I don't know. I think I had a few. In that one way.

So, today. I made sure to get some sleep. I had a bunch. Had to bathroom, but I had to wait. Secret shop, 10 piece chicken er. Wrok. Brought back some frees. Tash brought me some DVDs. I'll be doing that before I sleep. A couple of shirry films, somewhat. One of them is actually an incredible idea. It should be in a list of mine, one day. This is all that's kind of going on in my life for this moment. I'd try to seize the day or the whole 'live like it is your last' stuff, but I'm not even sure. I guess I can't say I don't.

And yesterday, literally nothing to explain. I was so close to just posting a review about the new Fox series Past Life because I actually sat down to watch it. That's what I did, yesterday. Put more money in the bank, I think. So, I guess it adds up. The days, I mean.

Good Nigh

Try Not To Get Warm...

I was about to say I deserved that piece of pie. It was actually more of a hassle than it ended up being worth. Still, what I would have meant was that I did good today and if I were much more of a fan of key lime pie, then it would have been like a reward. I almost effortlessly worked on my health today. Gah, I mean, we have to get rid of the junk foods somehow, but Yes. I did ok for myself.

Oh, whoa. I recorded two "songs" today. One was this "rap" that I had kind of conjured up towards the end of last year out of what could be comically portrayed as angst. Kind of the paper towel used to pick up all the collected garbage after a lunch. I guess, to me, it accurately describes what was wrong with that period. In hindsight, this little track is self indulgent satire. Eh well.

The other one is something I was trying out with this old drum machine toy that I've had for a while. It's only 44 seconds and I forget the word to describe that type of garbage. I mean, it's not good to listen to, and it wasn't that much of a challenge. It's good for me, though.

I had soup for dinner, which actually doesn't sound like anything to mention. I guess I was proud because it was my choice. It was a significant point in the day though because I was able to talk to my mom. I guess the media is right about the whole family dinner thing. We talked about how we should actually try to move back into that house we used to live in, on Austin Avenue. She said the landlord wouldn't mind the bad credit thing. Also, we could move into the other side of the condo-ish house that Tasha's family has been living in. Honestly, though, I would really love to move back into that house. I mean, I would actually make an effort to be there. It's a house. Imagine having personal space, once again. We'll see.

I also brought up the idea of her crocheting hats, that I had mentioned to her before. I'm not sure if it will make for originality, but they'll sell. I'm sure. I've got ideas. Anyway, those are a few things that made today legitimate. Oh yeah and I did take a pretty long walk today, occasionally running in order to build up on that whatever it's called that I happened to read about, Sunday morning.

I have my own water jugs. Remembered "Ploffy Glosh." Ready to brush teeth for the 2nd time today. Vitamins. Ay yo.

Now I'm Allowed

Ok. I've been sitting here trying to do this character design. There, I'm legit. I'm trying to combine two different iconic figures because they're both iconic figures. I won't say who, but the result I keep getting is this koala version of Fide basically. I'm doing this for this idea I have, for what would be called a "graphic novel," that needs a main character. At this point, I'd have to redeem myself.

I'm not a graphic novel or comic book type of man. I know this because I actually have not the traits that they do. They hone their interests in far different ways that I care to know. From my point of view, these people that I am not of, these folks include average novel enthusiasts that have a thing to say about a book and this thing that I couldn't possibly get a hold of. They're just a different element. They have one face.

What I mean to say is that I was drawing... and then a story happened. I'm on no mission. I mean, now I am because it started itself. Fine, I'm not ashamed. I'm literally just kind of debating on giving any details. So I'll probably just turn this into mush. That's how I am with people these days.

While I'm at it, yeah, I've unresponsive to people. Which means unfulfillment. In order to follow through with one of those things, I'll have to work on that aspect. Gah, all I am is cryptic. Ok, the thing I started this thing talking about, I have given the title 'Tar-pit Super Stray" which is of course my own personal play on words (as opposed to Super Star.) Then, this paragraph was a little thing about me not really following up on the resolution of talking to people. Hah, ironic. The fact that I explained it, is the first step in solving that issue.

In other reality, I went to the unemployment office with my mom. The unemployed aren't even as miserable as expected. It's actually all good. Still, I have to do something to kind of get us out of this little situation. I want my mom to be the same as she's been. We don't need to worry that much about health right now. The fact that this period of time seems like this is all necessary. Well, I better not be passive and just wait for it all to transform into the next act. Ok, what am I doing?

Affirm.