Threshold of New Years Eve.
hm. So this is how I end up reminiscing. Wow. How to set it up. Well, as it has been, my mom is in Germany until January 6th. She's been gone since the 14th and since then I've occupied myself. It's impossible to know how I've kept myself occupied but I guess I did. The very first couple of days, I went straight downstairs and started sorting out a bunch of papers of mine. There are still stacks lying around the basement. I had also been playing Paper Mario. I actually also just finished playing it some more, but only after forcing myself to. I'm not sure why there'd be any difference in my doing these things since I could have done these things while my mom was home, but either way- those are the things I did for the first few days. I barely remember any other days, other than Tash coming over to take me shopping.
I celebrated Christmas with my dad. It snowed. I was able to see our old family friends, after about 10 years. I mean, I like that type of thing because it's one of those 'reality' situations. Er, a good 'storyline' or 'continuity' situation. Like, it was like I actually saw the ghost of Christmas past because I think we always used to visit this family for Christmas. Wild.
In that same respect, all at the same time, I think I was also visited by the ghosts of Christmas present and future. And it doesn't even mean I'm a Scrooge. Sometimes these ghosts just visit. I have become aware of my friends: past, present, and future friends. All at once. People I don't see as often, people I consistently see, and people I know I'm actually going to meet soon. Trust me.
On that note, let me explain. The whole comedy thing, like I said, is showing itself in a less modest way. Pseudo-famous people just like me are popping out of the most ridiculous places. (These are the people that I am going to meet). I'm finding it easier to get in contact with people I didn't imagine I'd ever meet. (I wanted to, and knew it was possible, but I didn't imagine it.) Like, I'm not talking to any of them or anything because I know I have to present myself and blah. I don't know what this sounds like but it feels normal. All I realize is that if I consistently keep my head in my work, then things will come. And so far, it has. In ways.
Last night (technically the night before) I had burned a practice dvd. If I can get someone to watch it and confirm that's it good enough to pass out as a demo disc, then that'd be nice. Oh, right. Actual news. Well, we may be getting another live show to be performed at the Wonder Root. I agreed to a date, but I'm not sure what's next. I guess I'll wait for them to put it on the schedule on their website, or something. So that's fine. If we build momentum with that, and the Brain Camp show (and hopefully more to follow), then we'll at least be somewhere in the quantity aspect. Then, after a certain point I have some plans. If we're at all well known then I'll pull for some fund-raising, but if luck shines upon us, then a road trip is in store. (yep. a note to self).
To conclude, of course, I want to just see how much stuff I can jot about the year 2010. I'd like to say that it was a year, for me, wealthy in literature, chemicals, and women. Very vague things, actually. Well, literature is sort of obvious. Anyone reading this knows that. I've been writing this type of crap all year long... but earlier this year, I did find myself reading more often than I had ever read in my life. Really.
As for chemicals, well, this one is a hehe 'self-fulfilling'.. thing. I'm guessing it has to do with some mental stuff or noting of other people's mental stuff, but I'm not sure if I could be fully honest about here. It could also be other people's usage of foreign materials and all that garbage. Who knows. The year is ending- I'm not in the same mindset as the one I was in when I agreed this year dealt heavily with chemicals (which was at least a month and a half ago).
And women. I just now decided on that one. They've been pretty prominent, and I guess this is my way of paying homage to the strong women of the year 2010. Then again, it's also kind of stupid (don't jump to conclusions!!) in the way that, "in that case, every year is somewhat about women". Well yeah. Really, I'm just being passively admiration-al. I like what some people did this year. One side of me wants to get this part of what I'm saying over with, while the other is nodding and squinting his eyes in approval. Fine.
So did I get everything done this year? Hell yes. I won this year, even if I got past with a B-. I mean, with the main accomplishment being "move" in the first half, things kind of worked themselves out. Even if I didn't notice. So far, it doesn't look like it's ending the way I imagined... but I guess it's a step-by-step process. Baby steps. And then step-steps because we ain't got all day. So I guess, I'll kind of take my leave in regards of "capturing everyday to prove that it happened," and just let it happen. No sense in forcing happenings to happen. They just happen. They're the only things that just happen, in essence.
It was a lot of fun. "Would you do it again?" Yeaaah! :)
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Control
Ahh what a great night, last night. Well, that's over. Today I've just been old hermit. No, I can't tell if I'm just getting almost too particular recently. I think I might becoming choosy or whatever the better word is. Like, I actually think I got aggravated with the thought of people doing things in my room in the way that I don't usually do them. I'm getting afraid that I'm beginning to want things to go my way. I'm almost sure that what I am actually doing has nothing to do with what I'm thinking. There's no way of telling for sure, I mean. I just can't tell because it's like I'm very sure that when I am doing things, that I am doing them for my only right reason. But then the situation just turns into smleh.
Well, all last week I was doing great. I was on a roll, I was writing all types of material and that type of stuff that I do that cannot possibly be criticized or considered futile (because I am also imagining the response to my admitting to writing interesting stuff being looked at as a 'lame hobby'). And see that's just it. I wasn't thinking about this type of crap. I wasn't thinking about the negative things that exist in other universes. I wasn't thinking about universes either, for that matter. I had a clear head for the week. It was like I was headed toward a certain zone, where no one could mention drugs, paranoia, or depression (none of which pertain to me, but bother me when I realize friends are going through this type of junk). I was feeling.. heh.. I was feeling ok (can't stand the phrase "feeling good" for some reason. I claim that I don't believe that a person can do that in the sense that no one has the right to judge what "good" feels like.) and I was calm, in anticipation. Maybe I was waiting for last night. Now, I'm just letting things bother me. People talking loud. i can't tell if that's something that... heh. I don't get bothered, of course not.
Ahr. What I was saying.. Last week, I was doing good. Trying to think of specifics besides the fact that there was a point where I realized the actor Jason Segel seemed cool. I guess the 'accomplished' feeling came from the fact that all of the notebooks I write all this crap in are pretty full. Now before you have already read the words "notebooks" and "write" and already gotten halfway through this sentence, realize that these 'notebooks' are really just.. ah.. you'd really have to see them, but the main point is that they barely have anything to do with writing. So do not even associate it or me with writing. I will not disgrace these things buy calling them "idea books," either. And that's my problem, this week. Or just today, actually. I fear that I actually might just be being a control freak. See, now I'm feeling like I remember myself saying this about myself once before. Actually, hah, I might have been talking about someone else. Still, I'm trying to keep level. I guess it's the fact that because last week, absolutely everything was in my hands, and now that this is the period in which I share my ideas, I am not willing to hear anyone else's. Which is false because I am amazingly open to ideas involving the comedy team. Yep the comedy team. That's what I've been so proud of. Especially last week. That is where my mind was last week. The comedy team. Fail-safe. And now that the day I was waiting for is over, I guess I've been back to whatever. Universe A. My home world. Not the real world, just the place where I grew up. Hm. Maybe that means I need to take each Universe A time to grow up. Or maybe I distribute my grow-ups equally into each universe. So stupid, the word, but in one of these worlds I've come to believe that not a soul should be ashamed of words. And in another, I think the opposite: the whole thing about certain people ruining certain things. In some places, at some moments, no one can ruin a thing.
Back in "Real" World, there's the sound of the lyrics "I told you- no I'll never let you drag me down to hell " which fits. I only call that one "Real" just because that's the crappy one where.. ahem.. sex, drama, and drugs exist. Again, not for me- literally, honestly, and the absolute truth. Those things can get real. But they're all complete bs to me. Cool because there's no way to detach yourself from it without looking like you're-- Hell.
Still, the fact that I've clearly gotten back into talking about this stuff, and the fact that I haven't gotten over the terminology factor just kind of bothers me. That's why I was trying to ignore certain friends of mine. It would do me good, and it has nothing to do with them--oh oh-- just the fact that what they're saying is just going to make me fixate on some other realities. You know. "Drag me down to hell". And that may be the cause of the control-freak thing, as well. I'm temporarily banishing certain folks just because they're not in the same mood as I am (mostly because they haven't heard the same news that I have). They're not thinking about the same things, and that- THAT has to be the problem with long-distance relationships of any sort. They see ABSOLUTELY different things. Absolutely no way to communicate. The details have to gather. Things become less effective from farther away. "You'd just have to be there".
So, what's the deal? Is there anything upsetting me? Well, one thing I do want to get over. That awkward meeting, yesterday. Ah. And that other awkward thing. And the thing I didn't do. And the thing from 2 years ago that I reminded myself of, an hour ago. Redemption? Hah, listen, I'm actually convincing myself that you can get over any awkward situation by turning into a big.. show. Well, hell, that ol' "success is the best revenge". Hah, now that quote is going to make me think of when I told that to Fide and he just focused on the 'revenge' part. But the point, moreover, is redemption.
Ok. I hope this flows well. Actually. Ok, I'm about to just type what I'm thinking in order to help myself out so hold up. Now, if I completely cut myself off from the whole: "imaginary people," "not exist," "universes," "I act different to certain people," "I can't remember my relationship with certain people," "man, I messed up," "anger," "disappointment," and "back-up plans"... does that mean I'm also cutting myself off from actual.. er.. "inspiration" for the things.. God.. that I do? Not to mention "what is it that we do?". That didn't help at all. Wait a minute. This has absolutely nothing to do with last night. As in- this is not even the same.. ah hell, here we go.
One of the things that got me earlier. Two things, actually. Hah. Hah. There is always absolute Hell in trying to defend Kanye West. There. Simple. Let's say defending Kanye West has absolutely nothing to do with the man himself. He's only famous for the fact that he symbolizes the exact situation that I am actually trying to defend. Kind of like Obama (because I thought of Chicago). I mean, that's what "idols" are (and I mean "idols" as famous people in general) there for. They represent an intricate ideal. That's why no one is "the one famous person". You become a fan of one particular thing because that represents that situation. I actually don't care if I'm saying anything new- remember that. But I'm just saying- to defend Kanye is to defend that one ideal of "what I am doing/saying is being translated horribly wrong". Like, jumping the gun. Like, trying to lift something heavy when you haven't even considered building muscles. As in- not ready YET. As in- maybe I need to grow up- once again. Or. Maybe I'm just not wrong.
Those two things kind of topped off this mood of today. Finding out that no matter what, I'm still going to look like I'm saying/doing mean, untrustable things? Even if the thing I was attempting is fool-proof? Maybe it's because i forget how I look when I'm doing it. I'm just fat :(
Yo.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Update
Yeah. Today, which is (can't stress this enough) completely not like me, I've gotten a ergh "short temper". I didn't even mention that I was getting ugh "frustrated" with the fam today. Shame that I put a negative outlook about them before I even said anything positive about how I feel about them. You know- because I don't even talk about "fam". Whoa. My God. I just said "feel"("yeah but didn't he talk about 'feeling ok' earlier?"). Ha. Hah. Actually, that just explains this entire thing. It has to just be today. So in that big old open world, I am just a nice, creative (y'all can't stress that enough) young man. Fat too! :P And once every almost-never, I can just be "man he mean"- and that'll be by complete accident. I'm a man of ideas. That's who.
-----------------------------------
and then. whoa forgot. oh yeah. how you're not allowed to bring up anything. you're only allowed to be reviewed. I'm being cruel, I think this is making it worse. As long as no one blatantly copies what I'm saying here. I've been sucked in. 1. I wanted to ignore the 'writing' side of things (this) 2. Forcing myself to ignore is just the same as ignoring anything that isn't an internal conflict.
Bottom line- last night was fun. My friends and I went to a show. I got a free dvd.
Well, all last week I was doing great. I was on a roll, I was writing all types of material and that type of stuff that I do that cannot possibly be criticized or considered futile (because I am also imagining the response to my admitting to writing interesting stuff being looked at as a 'lame hobby'). And see that's just it. I wasn't thinking about this type of crap. I wasn't thinking about the negative things that exist in other universes. I wasn't thinking about universes either, for that matter. I had a clear head for the week. It was like I was headed toward a certain zone, where no one could mention drugs, paranoia, or depression (none of which pertain to me, but bother me when I realize friends are going through this type of junk). I was feeling.. heh.. I was feeling ok (can't stand the phrase "feeling good" for some reason. I claim that I don't believe that a person can do that in the sense that no one has the right to judge what "good" feels like.) and I was calm, in anticipation. Maybe I was waiting for last night. Now, I'm just letting things bother me. People talking loud. i can't tell if that's something that... heh. I don't get bothered, of course not.
Ahr. What I was saying.. Last week, I was doing good. Trying to think of specifics besides the fact that there was a point where I realized the actor Jason Segel seemed cool. I guess the 'accomplished' feeling came from the fact that all of the notebooks I write all this crap in are pretty full. Now before you have already read the words "notebooks" and "write" and already gotten halfway through this sentence, realize that these 'notebooks' are really just.. ah.. you'd really have to see them, but the main point is that they barely have anything to do with writing. So do not even associate it or me with writing. I will not disgrace these things buy calling them "idea books," either. And that's my problem, this week. Or just today, actually. I fear that I actually might just be being a control freak. See, now I'm feeling like I remember myself saying this about myself once before. Actually, hah, I might have been talking about someone else. Still, I'm trying to keep level. I guess it's the fact that because last week, absolutely everything was in my hands, and now that this is the period in which I share my ideas, I am not willing to hear anyone else's. Which is false because I am amazingly open to ideas involving the comedy team. Yep the comedy team. That's what I've been so proud of. Especially last week. That is where my mind was last week. The comedy team. Fail-safe. And now that the day I was waiting for is over, I guess I've been back to whatever. Universe A. My home world. Not the real world, just the place where I grew up. Hm. Maybe that means I need to take each Universe A time to grow up. Or maybe I distribute my grow-ups equally into each universe. So stupid, the word, but in one of these worlds I've come to believe that not a soul should be ashamed of words. And in another, I think the opposite: the whole thing about certain people ruining certain things. In some places, at some moments, no one can ruin a thing.
Back in "Real" World, there's the sound of the lyrics "I told you- no I'll never let you drag me down to hell " which fits. I only call that one "Real" just because that's the crappy one where.. ahem.. sex, drama, and drugs exist. Again, not for me- literally, honestly, and the absolute truth. Those things can get real. But they're all complete bs to me. Cool because there's no way to detach yourself from it without looking like you're-- Hell.
Still, the fact that I've clearly gotten back into talking about this stuff, and the fact that I haven't gotten over the terminology factor just kind of bothers me. That's why I was trying to ignore certain friends of mine. It would do me good, and it has nothing to do with them--oh oh-- just the fact that what they're saying is just going to make me fixate on some other realities. You know. "Drag me down to hell". And that may be the cause of the control-freak thing, as well. I'm temporarily banishing certain folks just because they're not in the same mood as I am (mostly because they haven't heard the same news that I have). They're not thinking about the same things, and that- THAT has to be the problem with long-distance relationships of any sort. They see ABSOLUTELY different things. Absolutely no way to communicate. The details have to gather. Things become less effective from farther away. "You'd just have to be there".
So, what's the deal? Is there anything upsetting me? Well, one thing I do want to get over. That awkward meeting, yesterday. Ah. And that other awkward thing. And the thing I didn't do. And the thing from 2 years ago that I reminded myself of, an hour ago. Redemption? Hah, listen, I'm actually convincing myself that you can get over any awkward situation by turning into a big.. show. Well, hell, that ol' "success is the best revenge". Hah, now that quote is going to make me think of when I told that to Fide and he just focused on the 'revenge' part. But the point, moreover, is redemption.
Ok. I hope this flows well. Actually. Ok, I'm about to just type what I'm thinking in order to help myself out so hold up. Now, if I completely cut myself off from the whole: "imaginary people," "not exist," "universes," "I act different to certain people," "I can't remember my relationship with certain people," "man, I messed up," "anger," "disappointment," and "back-up plans"... does that mean I'm also cutting myself off from actual.. er.. "inspiration" for the things.. God.. that I do? Not to mention "what is it that we do?". That didn't help at all. Wait a minute. This has absolutely nothing to do with last night. As in- this is not even the same.. ah hell, here we go.
One of the things that got me earlier. Two things, actually. Hah. Hah. There is always absolute Hell in trying to defend Kanye West. There. Simple. Let's say defending Kanye West has absolutely nothing to do with the man himself. He's only famous for the fact that he symbolizes the exact situation that I am actually trying to defend. Kind of like Obama (because I thought of Chicago). I mean, that's what "idols" are (and I mean "idols" as famous people in general) there for. They represent an intricate ideal. That's why no one is "the one famous person". You become a fan of one particular thing because that represents that situation. I actually don't care if I'm saying anything new- remember that. But I'm just saying- to defend Kanye is to defend that one ideal of "what I am doing/saying is being translated horribly wrong". Like, jumping the gun. Like, trying to lift something heavy when you haven't even considered building muscles. As in- not ready YET. As in- maybe I need to grow up- once again. Or. Maybe I'm just not wrong.
Other thing was remembering something that could have been considered insanely passive-aggressive over the summer. I mean, how often do people around here blatantly use the words "main character" in reference to real life? Ok, first things first. I'm not saying I'll ever do so, but for someone to call themselves a main character is actually justifiable. I think I'm treading over old grounds (hah) so, I won't even justify that statement- which doesn't need to be justified because it is actually a kind-hearted thing, really. It's one of those things, you know? "Importance of self" (in social situations) is just a matter of moderation. I'm fine. No new lessons. Really just an argument of how "cool" it is to hate yourself vs. how "cool" it is to hate other people. Then there is just the absolutely honest and pure reality of "I have never heard any of those words". So, I'm fine. I just want to talk about that last part with someone before I finally decide what I mean.
Those two things kind of topped off this mood of today. Finding out that no matter what, I'm still going to look like I'm saying/doing mean, untrustable things? Even if the thing I was attempting is fool-proof? Maybe it's because i forget how I look when I'm doing it. I'm just fat :(
Yo.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Update
Yeah. Today, which is (can't stress this enough) completely not like me, I've gotten a ergh "short temper". I didn't even mention that I was getting ugh "frustrated" with the fam today. Shame that I put a negative outlook about them before I even said anything positive about how I feel about them. You know- because I don't even talk about "fam". Whoa. My God. I just said "feel"("yeah but didn't he talk about 'feeling ok' earlier?"). Ha. Hah. Actually, that just explains this entire thing. It has to just be today. So in that big old open world, I am just a nice, creative (y'all can't stress that enough) young man. Fat too! :P And once every almost-never, I can just be "man he mean"- and that'll be by complete accident. I'm a man of ideas. That's who.
-----------------------------------
and then. whoa forgot. oh yeah. how you're not allowed to bring up anything. you're only allowed to be reviewed. I'm being cruel, I think this is making it worse. As long as no one blatantly copies what I'm saying here. I've been sucked in. 1. I wanted to ignore the 'writing' side of things (this) 2. Forcing myself to ignore is just the same as ignoring anything that isn't an internal conflict.
Bottom line- last night was fun. My friends and I went to a show. I got a free dvd.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Dice
Ok, good. Good, right? Well yeah besides the poverty, pain, and sickness! Aha See, that's always the case. Because "evil" is always imaginary. Yeah, I've been moving on to saying "aha" lately. Take on me. But I've been either busy or more optimistic lately or something, I don't know.
Writing about it is probably what'll ruin it. No, but stuff has been collecting. I mean, yeah there are some prototypical "bad" things looming around but hell. The will always negates defeat.
Yeah I'm sick, but it's fine, really. We just got word that our "brain camp" thing will be taking place on January 29th! That means that I'll be, at the very least, marketing. It'll be good, and hopefully Cool Winners can perform. Going to have to remind myself... nah.. I was thinking I'd need that audio cable to connect a laptop to the speakers but nah.
College.
I guess I also edited 3 videos today but that's just what somebody who is talking about themselves would say. It won't really matter. So, you know. Ha. Hah. I'm getting visions of my future, finally. I'd better harness that crap while the getting is still good. I'll let you know. Other than that... well, I still feel busy. Just wrote a Christmas special. Terrible.
I'll holla (th
Writing about it is probably what'll ruin it. No, but stuff has been collecting. I mean, yeah there are some prototypical "bad" things looming around but hell. The will always negates defeat.
Yeah I'm sick, but it's fine, really. We just got word that our "brain camp" thing will be taking place on January 29th! That means that I'll be, at the very least, marketing. It'll be good, and hopefully Cool Winners can perform. Going to have to remind myself... nah.. I was thinking I'd need that audio cable to connect a laptop to the speakers but nah.
College.
I guess I also edited 3 videos today but that's just what somebody who is talking about themselves would say. It won't really matter. So, you know. Ha. Hah. I'm getting visions of my future, finally. I'd better harness that crap while the getting is still good. I'll let you know. Other than that... well, I still feel busy. Just wrote a Christmas special. Terrible.
I'll holla (th
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Farthest
Well, isn't it? The farthest I've gotten? I wouldn't think so but it actually may as well just be that. The farthest anyone or anything has gotten. Eh, now is not the time. Good luck, though.
It brings up a good point. A charity organization that updates its followers with inspiring quotes. But how often is too often when it comes to reading quotes? How far do people actually want to read? What if it was a celebrity updating what is going on in his or her life with quotes that got them to where they are now? Would fans be annoyed or inspired? These words (of wisdom or even phrases that result in "heh") are literally what go on in this person's head, but I am imagining that somehow these words can go unheeded. Ah first, though, if you literally don't see it then that's a different story. I am talking about pure annoyance with someone that you are a fan of. What the hell could it possibly mean to be a fan of someone? How far do you reasearch into someone's life without either: falling in or out of love, or using this knowledge to enhance your own? Then again the latter type of person couldn't even be considered a fan as much as a soon-to-be colleague. Whoa. Look, really I am specifically recording my thoughts immediately after seeing the page for To Write Love on Her Arms. Then, I thought of how what they post differs from what one average citizen might post. It's kind of merging with my thoughts of friends getting offended that I might be able to quote certain things as they come up. Eh, that's something else. Not far off, seeing as it deals with annoyance. I believe you always happen to read quotes at the perfect moments. Whatever that means. Here, the point is that you should kind of follow what would even provoke one person to quote another and at what moments. "Should." But not necessary. No should is really too necessary.
Companionship. You can't really be with someone that you don't really connect with, or someone that you can't easily talk endlessly to. Any relationship, basically. I'm not saying these opinions are mine. I'm thinking, one can have a dog as a companion and of course feel unfulfilled in the conversation aspect. But what about forgetting the qualities you're looking for? What if you begin to talk to a dog or anything else so much that you've just become busy? What if you let the human-thing set it, and you create your own motivation to keep on talking or keep on sitting-next-to. Maybe even the life-partner sense can work out. How have people been ignoring that their spouse "doesn't get it"? Maybe someone who "get's it" can only be with someone who "doesn't get it". The people closest to them will get it. That can be fine enough.
Well, I wonder if this worked at all. Those are my points. Just to keep me going, for like a split second, you know. Other than that... Heh well, just got word that I might be doing.... something.... in January. I hesitate to explain that I'm not giving exact detail yet.
I'm in the school registration process. Oh yeah of course. You know by know, right. Ugh. You. Still, if I can keep my head out of the mucky idea of what college used to be and what college actually is, then I'll be good. What college actually is versus what I'm actually doing are really perpendicular. Not necessarily clashing though. Fine. Skew. Hah irony. I've been talking about how horrifying Geometry was to me, and now look. Eh. Very small irony, yet big also since I used geometry humor. Wait, but that wasn't a joke. Ok stop. Like I said. If an academic career can be foiled simply by a chance disappearance of a classroom's folder, then I'm forced into skepticism.
What?
Last week is over. Haha. Good. It was very tyrannical. I didn't even know it. I cured. It must have been a good weekend. I still have a big off egg white crust on my sleeve. Possibly still a little bit of dog poit on the bottom of my shoe, as well. You can tell Matthew is going to be in the picture more often, soon.
This just in.. My mom just brought in an envelope, asking "Could this be for you and Tash?" The envelope was addressed to: Big Bro and Sister. There's no return address. I, eating leftovers, just said something about the possibility of anthrax. I'm not even sure what the state of the anthrax scare is, anymore. The post mark says it's from Michigan. I just finished eating, so I am more willing to try to open it. Gah. I hope it's a letter from the future. That's always my hope.
Wish me luck.
Back. I opened the envelope, carefully. Inside was a folded white sheet of paper. I pulled it out, and inside were two portrait-like photos of two young boys. Christ. I hate finding stuff like that. On the backs were their names and current ages. My first thoughts (I think even before turning them around to see the actual photos) were that I was supposed to be some assassin or bounty hunter. Now listen up. I don't even like that type of fiction. All I can say is that anyone else may have had the same thoughts. My minions told me that those were the first two options :). Really, that thought went away as soon as it arrived. Then of course came the "letter from the future" thing again. Well. These two boys are brown. I'll be damned if they're my offspring. Especially the one marked "Zach". I hate this kid. Hah, actually he looks like the boy from the George Lopez show. The sitcom, I mean. You know. I had to watch it on my Chicago trip. Rabbit ears.
Nope. I'll never have those two particular boys. They're no good. See, there's no telling though. An envelope with no return address. That's either attributed to forgetfulness, lack of envelope etiquette, or hell. From the future. Come on. And in the end of it all- please just let me have my imagination. I wonder whatever happened to that one girl that I met a couple times as a kid. Her uncle or family friend or just some older guy kept teasing her about having an extra toe. No telling if she actually did have an extra toe. But then I guess it wouldn't be a tease-able thing if it were true. I think I was just sitting off to the side, bored. I wonder if I actually made friends with those kids. I think it might have been their mom that was friends with my dad. Now I remember the lady's name because it was the first time I ever heard the name Reina. My dad told me it meant "queen". I keep visualizing this.. these streets that kind of look like they belonged in an unfinished neighborhood. I remember walking around... or being forced out of common courtesy to walk around... with her kids. Something about juice, too. Gah, that's just going to make me think about Ralph. And Beverly. Weird periods of time with my dad's friends. My dad's friends who just happened to have kids for me to play with.
Wait. I'm still talking about these two bastards that got sent to me in the mail. What, am I doing charity now? Christ, who are these kids? The obvious answer would be to send them to the correct address, right? Nah. This is the address that was written on the letter. Minus the "northeast" part. Wait, there were previous renters. The only reason I didn't think about that is because I had heard about the guy who was here in between us living here. He kicked holes in the walls, apparently. Who the hell would send pictures of young men to a man like that? In that case, the family... or friends.... will sort that out, amongst themselves. It's probably just some pathological gift someone just sent me as a cruel, Hank joke. Other than that, I'll just exploit the hell out of these pictures... no, no, they bother me too much. I would just kind of jokingly use them as placeholders in books at the most. And I won't burn them. I won't burn these pictures literally because I'm suspicious of the fact that I'm even thinking about burning them in the first place. Sigh. Look. I'll leave them where they are. I don't know the name for that particular article of furniture, but that's where they are. Sort of tucked under the paper towel my mom uses to collect incense ashes. There.
No one could have possibly expected this, but this is what happened. It happened to me in the middle of some odd writing practice I was doing. Good enough. I won't forget it. And speaking of which, I don't want to forget the other details. On my way to the piece of furniture I just mentioned, I did stop in the kitchen. I almost placed the envelope and pictures on the counter. That would have been too much. No, but my mom had just cooked these little apple tarters or something. Very good. A thin pie crust with chunks of green apple, with some sort of caramel-like (it very well may be caramel. or home-made caramel) sauce, and toffee chips. I've already forgotten them. There's plenty left, but I wanted to test whether or not I could hold off on devouring a dessert immediately. See. I'm good. Thing kinda have to be good. Gah, to think. The one thing that I have a tinge of doubt about right now is just.. my other life. My 1st 'other' life. I'm feeling iffy about.. ok there's got to be a different 'venue' for me to talk honestly about the..ugh.. comedy team. There's nothing "ugh" about it, but a very harsh change of pace. Minions telling me "no, don't." but I've got it. There's no right way. I'm feeling very good about the state of this topic (and we all like to think we're caring the most out of anyone) but there are very tiny little frays that could become problems later. I don't know. That's something I'd have to talk about. "Talk" about.
Well, then. It's good. Plus, I'm offended by the word "good". Plus, I can't tell if I'm saying "I'm offended" as a habit that Nick has rubbed off onto me. Now, if I was really in a paranoia-ish mood, then I'd completely change my wording of that last sentence. Current mood: lounge. Back hurts, and I'm just now realizing I didn't take the walk I planned for today. Craig. Ah well.
This worked.
It brings up a good point. A charity organization that updates its followers with inspiring quotes. But how often is too often when it comes to reading quotes? How far do people actually want to read? What if it was a celebrity updating what is going on in his or her life with quotes that got them to where they are now? Would fans be annoyed or inspired? These words (of wisdom or even phrases that result in "heh") are literally what go on in this person's head, but I am imagining that somehow these words can go unheeded. Ah first, though, if you literally don't see it then that's a different story. I am talking about pure annoyance with someone that you are a fan of. What the hell could it possibly mean to be a fan of someone? How far do you reasearch into someone's life without either: falling in or out of love, or using this knowledge to enhance your own? Then again the latter type of person couldn't even be considered a fan as much as a soon-to-be colleague. Whoa. Look, really I am specifically recording my thoughts immediately after seeing the page for To Write Love on Her Arms. Then, I thought of how what they post differs from what one average citizen might post. It's kind of merging with my thoughts of friends getting offended that I might be able to quote certain things as they come up. Eh, that's something else. Not far off, seeing as it deals with annoyance. I believe you always happen to read quotes at the perfect moments. Whatever that means. Here, the point is that you should kind of follow what would even provoke one person to quote another and at what moments. "Should." But not necessary. No should is really too necessary.
Companionship. You can't really be with someone that you don't really connect with, or someone that you can't easily talk endlessly to. Any relationship, basically. I'm not saying these opinions are mine. I'm thinking, one can have a dog as a companion and of course feel unfulfilled in the conversation aspect. But what about forgetting the qualities you're looking for? What if you begin to talk to a dog or anything else so much that you've just become busy? What if you let the human-thing set it, and you create your own motivation to keep on talking or keep on sitting-next-to. Maybe even the life-partner sense can work out. How have people been ignoring that their spouse "doesn't get it"? Maybe someone who "get's it" can only be with someone who "doesn't get it". The people closest to them will get it. That can be fine enough.
Well, I wonder if this worked at all. Those are my points. Just to keep me going, for like a split second, you know. Other than that... Heh well, just got word that I might be doing.... something.... in January. I hesitate to explain that I'm not giving exact detail yet.
I'm in the school registration process. Oh yeah of course. You know by know, right. Ugh. You. Still, if I can keep my head out of the mucky idea of what college used to be and what college actually is, then I'll be good. What college actually is versus what I'm actually doing are really perpendicular. Not necessarily clashing though. Fine. Skew. Hah irony. I've been talking about how horrifying Geometry was to me, and now look. Eh. Very small irony, yet big also since I used geometry humor. Wait, but that wasn't a joke. Ok stop. Like I said. If an academic career can be foiled simply by a chance disappearance of a classroom's folder, then I'm forced into skepticism.
What?
Last week is over. Haha. Good. It was very tyrannical. I didn't even know it. I cured. It must have been a good weekend. I still have a big off egg white crust on my sleeve. Possibly still a little bit of dog poit on the bottom of my shoe, as well. You can tell Matthew is going to be in the picture more often, soon.
This just in.. My mom just brought in an envelope, asking "Could this be for you and Tash?" The envelope was addressed to: Big Bro and Sister. There's no return address. I, eating leftovers, just said something about the possibility of anthrax. I'm not even sure what the state of the anthrax scare is, anymore. The post mark says it's from Michigan. I just finished eating, so I am more willing to try to open it. Gah. I hope it's a letter from the future. That's always my hope.
Wish me luck.
Back. I opened the envelope, carefully. Inside was a folded white sheet of paper. I pulled it out, and inside were two portrait-like photos of two young boys. Christ. I hate finding stuff like that. On the backs were their names and current ages. My first thoughts (I think even before turning them around to see the actual photos) were that I was supposed to be some assassin or bounty hunter. Now listen up. I don't even like that type of fiction. All I can say is that anyone else may have had the same thoughts. My minions told me that those were the first two options :). Really, that thought went away as soon as it arrived. Then of course came the "letter from the future" thing again. Well. These two boys are brown. I'll be damned if they're my offspring. Especially the one marked "Zach". I hate this kid. Hah, actually he looks like the boy from the George Lopez show. The sitcom, I mean. You know. I had to watch it on my Chicago trip. Rabbit ears.
Nope. I'll never have those two particular boys. They're no good. See, there's no telling though. An envelope with no return address. That's either attributed to forgetfulness, lack of envelope etiquette, or hell. From the future. Come on. And in the end of it all- please just let me have my imagination. I wonder whatever happened to that one girl that I met a couple times as a kid. Her uncle or family friend or just some older guy kept teasing her about having an extra toe. No telling if she actually did have an extra toe. But then I guess it wouldn't be a tease-able thing if it were true. I think I was just sitting off to the side, bored. I wonder if I actually made friends with those kids. I think it might have been their mom that was friends with my dad. Now I remember the lady's name because it was the first time I ever heard the name Reina. My dad told me it meant "queen". I keep visualizing this.. these streets that kind of look like they belonged in an unfinished neighborhood. I remember walking around... or being forced out of common courtesy to walk around... with her kids. Something about juice, too. Gah, that's just going to make me think about Ralph. And Beverly. Weird periods of time with my dad's friends. My dad's friends who just happened to have kids for me to play with.
Wait. I'm still talking about these two bastards that got sent to me in the mail. What, am I doing charity now? Christ, who are these kids? The obvious answer would be to send them to the correct address, right? Nah. This is the address that was written on the letter. Minus the "northeast" part. Wait, there were previous renters. The only reason I didn't think about that is because I had heard about the guy who was here in between us living here. He kicked holes in the walls, apparently. Who the hell would send pictures of young men to a man like that? In that case, the family... or friends.... will sort that out, amongst themselves. It's probably just some pathological gift someone just sent me as a cruel, Hank joke. Other than that, I'll just exploit the hell out of these pictures... no, no, they bother me too much. I would just kind of jokingly use them as placeholders in books at the most. And I won't burn them. I won't burn these pictures literally because I'm suspicious of the fact that I'm even thinking about burning them in the first place. Sigh. Look. I'll leave them where they are. I don't know the name for that particular article of furniture, but that's where they are. Sort of tucked under the paper towel my mom uses to collect incense ashes. There.
No one could have possibly expected this, but this is what happened. It happened to me in the middle of some odd writing practice I was doing. Good enough. I won't forget it. And speaking of which, I don't want to forget the other details. On my way to the piece of furniture I just mentioned, I did stop in the kitchen. I almost placed the envelope and pictures on the counter. That would have been too much. No, but my mom had just cooked these little apple tarters or something. Very good. A thin pie crust with chunks of green apple, with some sort of caramel-like (it very well may be caramel. or home-made caramel) sauce, and toffee chips. I've already forgotten them. There's plenty left, but I wanted to test whether or not I could hold off on devouring a dessert immediately. See. I'm good. Thing kinda have to be good. Gah, to think. The one thing that I have a tinge of doubt about right now is just.. my other life. My 1st 'other' life. I'm feeling iffy about.. ok there's got to be a different 'venue' for me to talk honestly about the..ugh.. comedy team. There's nothing "ugh" about it, but a very harsh change of pace. Minions telling me "no, don't." but I've got it. There's no right way. I'm feeling very good about the state of this topic (and we all like to think we're caring the most out of anyone) but there are very tiny little frays that could become problems later. I don't know. That's something I'd have to talk about. "Talk" about.
Well, then. It's good. Plus, I'm offended by the word "good". Plus, I can't tell if I'm saying "I'm offended" as a habit that Nick has rubbed off onto me. Now, if I was really in a paranoia-ish mood, then I'd completely change my wording of that last sentence. Current mood: lounge. Back hurts, and I'm just now realizing I didn't take the walk I planned for today. Craig. Ah well.
This worked.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Ignore
Yeah, Let's try to ignore the void of what happened in the past month and a half. I mean, what I really have to say about it is scattered across whatever the heck it is that got in my way since then. Really, all I'd normally be saying right about now is some garbage about all the interesting quotes I had heard my family say while I was in Chicago. All the phrases that somehow end up echoing through other people. I'd be telling of how I'm trying to apply most of it to my life. Then, here, I'd mention that the most important piece of advice I had heard was just the word "chew". Well, no. I really can't go into detail about that just yet because I've already had that conversation with each of my friends. One of them, at least, that I can visualize right now.
I suppose what is now "in" is just what I've been trying to workout with the people around me. Er. See, I can talk about this just because it's about what I've been talking about with friends of mine, rather than the same old stuff I've been repeating to them all week. I know it to be true, that I've said "photoshoot" almost too many times, in the past few days. I've always noted the rule of etiquette..or just social behavior.. that goes something like "if you find yourself telling the same stories, more than once..". Not sure. I guess the rule is not to become boring by only having one thing going on in your life. Ouch. Still, I realize that none of my friends are actually thoroughly talking to each other, so I feel as though I am circulating and refreshing the things they have to say about...our latest..plan. Right. That's a mystery. Yeah, we're really trying to get some type of a ball rolling on our.. you know.. ugh.. entertainment careers. Sorry. It's just the type of thing that it hurts to talk about unless it's already actually working.
Ironically enough, this all probably does lead to some of that Chicago advice. Like I am reluctantly going to repeat, I wanted to come back to Georgia and "hit the ground running". Agh. Still, I shouldn't be ashamed in the least. I did just that. Hm, I mean, I guess I did run that day. No, no. Eventually I did have somewhat of a business meeting. Two, kind of, but eh. So, what.. This business lunch kind of reminded me of what the live Cool Winners show really did. What any of our old stuff did. It just built up and, you know. The more stuff that people can simply access daily, the more they'll want to see you on rarer occasions. Er, in this case, mostly. Obviously, at this point I'm not going to give away the specifics of what the meeting was about, but trust me. No, though, it made me realize some ideas about promotion and stuff like that. I guess the other meeting I sort of had kind of helped, too.
So, that's how it slowly developed. As I looked at my phone's messages to realize that I had almost had no conversations throughout one of these weeks, I knew I had to put my foot down. I started barking out ideas, to as many folks as would listen. Became a merry-having gone-round. As I discussed with Fide, we are building a network. Ah, see. You'll see. I'm kind of done for this moment in time. Attention span. Ah well.
I suppose what is now "in" is just what I've been trying to workout with the people around me. Er. See, I can talk about this just because it's about what I've been talking about with friends of mine, rather than the same old stuff I've been repeating to them all week. I know it to be true, that I've said "photoshoot" almost too many times, in the past few days. I've always noted the rule of etiquette..or just social behavior.. that goes something like "if you find yourself telling the same stories, more than once..". Not sure. I guess the rule is not to become boring by only having one thing going on in your life. Ouch. Still, I realize that none of my friends are actually thoroughly talking to each other, so I feel as though I am circulating and refreshing the things they have to say about...our latest..plan. Right. That's a mystery. Yeah, we're really trying to get some type of a ball rolling on our.. you know.. ugh.. entertainment careers. Sorry. It's just the type of thing that it hurts to talk about unless it's already actually working.
Ironically enough, this all probably does lead to some of that Chicago advice. Like I am reluctantly going to repeat, I wanted to come back to Georgia and "hit the ground running". Agh. Still, I shouldn't be ashamed in the least. I did just that. Hm, I mean, I guess I did run that day. No, no. Eventually I did have somewhat of a business meeting. Two, kind of, but eh. So, what.. This business lunch kind of reminded me of what the live Cool Winners show really did. What any of our old stuff did. It just built up and, you know. The more stuff that people can simply access daily, the more they'll want to see you on rarer occasions. Er, in this case, mostly. Obviously, at this point I'm not going to give away the specifics of what the meeting was about, but trust me. No, though, it made me realize some ideas about promotion and stuff like that. I guess the other meeting I sort of had kind of helped, too.
So, that's how it slowly developed. As I looked at my phone's messages to realize that I had almost had no conversations throughout one of these weeks, I knew I had to put my foot down. I started barking out ideas, to as many folks as would listen. Became a merry-having gone-round. As I discussed with Fide, we are building a network. Ah, see. You'll see. I'm kind of done for this moment in time. Attention span. Ah well.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
An Entire Year
It has been a year since we had performed on stage. Our own show. An amazing accomplishment, really. How ridiculous. Cool Winners and MC MassMurder. What a difference between then and now.
Agh, what a disappointment. We haven't made the same efforts to try to do it, again. Fide won't even be here to watch, or film, the next one. He can't stand around and solicit the dvd with the old "excuse me, sir. would you like to buy a dvd of tonight's performance?" That was one part of one of the plans.
Today, once again, I've gotten to that point where I realize that we have done nothing. I mean, last night, I finally got to hang out with Matthew. He always ends up being a rare find. He always ends up being that breath of fresh air. After talking, I remember, of course. We're all just... all of us. You can tell.
Well, what is keeping us from just being that thing? What is it that we're trying to be? I actually convinced myself that there's twelve others because of that movie. I should shake that one off, though. And why is it impossible to get each of us in the same room? We must be sort of cowardly, then. We do all of these things, and if not, then we still.. agh. Ok, fine, the one other thing is that same force that forces us not to even promote ourselves correctly. It must be that same force that causes me not to impress.
Whatever. I just wish that I could actually manifest what the heck I see things as. It's all just some fable. Feels kind of blind, though.
He
Agh, what a disappointment. We haven't made the same efforts to try to do it, again. Fide won't even be here to watch, or film, the next one. He can't stand around and solicit the dvd with the old "excuse me, sir. would you like to buy a dvd of tonight's performance?" That was one part of one of the plans.
Today, once again, I've gotten to that point where I realize that we have done nothing. I mean, last night, I finally got to hang out with Matthew. He always ends up being a rare find. He always ends up being that breath of fresh air. After talking, I remember, of course. We're all just... all of us. You can tell.
Well, what is keeping us from just being that thing? What is it that we're trying to be? I actually convinced myself that there's twelve others because of that movie. I should shake that one off, though. And why is it impossible to get each of us in the same room? We must be sort of cowardly, then. We do all of these things, and if not, then we still.. agh. Ok, fine, the one other thing is that same force that forces us not to even promote ourselves correctly. It must be that same force that causes me not to impress.
Whatever. I just wish that I could actually manifest what the heck I see things as. It's all just some fable. Feels kind of blind, though.
He
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Hone
Yeah willingly unresponsive. In the past week maybe, I got my new camera. Made 2 videos in one night. Already old news. One of them can actually be described as the ultimate Pito Video to date. It is my 50th one I've uploaded to the tube, so good coincidence. I say ultimate because it contains features of all my previous solo works. Viral, anyway.
Today hasn't really done justice. Aggravated, I think. Got off and took a nap. Work takes more hours away from your life than you know. It's really not fair (well you got a point there.) Watching old Fredryk Phox and realizing that he was another one of the people who have subliminally influenced me during that one part of my life. It's almost sad though. The fear of a cycle.
I think I may be stressed or aggravated tonight. Ashamed of the fact that I went through today looking how I look. The clothes, I mean. No idea what anyone else saw. Ok and "you look thinner and thinner" losing weight 'compliments.' Too bad I overheard the same person compliment another person. "Younger and younger." Except that was a bigger ruckus. With me, I just kind of. Fake smile. "Are you happy?" Asking if the compliment worked. I have no idea of reality, actually kinda. No idea what I look like, which may or may not matter. No idea what it is. Then of course someone would say: "Dude, everybody feels that way." Alright. Yeah let's leave that one there until I have proof.
All my obligations are paid. More library books. Three, this time. Three separate rooms.
Oh yeah and talking to Nico about all of us getting together for a new show. So far it looks like we're considering the Wonder Root. Who knows. I think we all agree yes. Justin won't be MC MassMurder he says. Hopefully we're building our following. wish we had a following though. Still, also maybe a picnic show in my backyard. Then when MC Mass finally finishes his album, a much better show. I'm already miles ahead of myself. I want the Cool Winners junk to have been established, MC to move on, the bridge between Nico's folks and us to be built, and the Creepy Ghosts explained. All that's in the past to me. In my mind, my entire career (past and future) is all just in the past. I think we need to bite off something we can barely swallow. Disappoint a lot of folks except the ones who pay enough attention. Already.
Tabloids about us. Able to happen. Just no idea who the hell we are. Death wish. we're all in chaos, not chaotic chaos but left over chaos from when we were in chaos. Not big enough to be chaotic. There's an entire story here. He's torn, Georgie. This is drama. So, what? Do I just write the biopic or the documentary? Who wants the same story, twice? It's a multiverse, so it quenches but also drouts. Thirsty as hell.
An that dreadful To-Do list. Somethings literally can only be done in a certain light. You Know? Begging to work myself to death. The way I want to work, clearly. Stop this, it's nonsense. For people to just eat these things. This store is just gluttony. Why put so much emphasis on FOOD? Out of their minds. That, in fact, should be the ring of hell for sinners of gluttony. Food as a goal, as comfort, as something to talk about, life? Ridiculous. I wouldn't mind any of these folks just going to hell. Ok, I shouldn't be at this point. This is how everyone ever has complained about work. I've been complaining about work all of my life.
I must explode.
Today hasn't really done justice. Aggravated, I think. Got off and took a nap. Work takes more hours away from your life than you know. It's really not fair (well you got a point there.) Watching old Fredryk Phox and realizing that he was another one of the people who have subliminally influenced me during that one part of my life. It's almost sad though. The fear of a cycle.
I think I may be stressed or aggravated tonight. Ashamed of the fact that I went through today looking how I look. The clothes, I mean. No idea what anyone else saw. Ok and "you look thinner and thinner" losing weight 'compliments.' Too bad I overheard the same person compliment another person. "Younger and younger." Except that was a bigger ruckus. With me, I just kind of. Fake smile. "Are you happy?" Asking if the compliment worked. I have no idea of reality, actually kinda. No idea what I look like, which may or may not matter. No idea what it is. Then of course someone would say: "Dude, everybody feels that way." Alright. Yeah let's leave that one there until I have proof.
All my obligations are paid. More library books. Three, this time. Three separate rooms.
Oh yeah and talking to Nico about all of us getting together for a new show. So far it looks like we're considering the Wonder Root. Who knows. I think we all agree yes. Justin won't be MC MassMurder he says. Hopefully we're building our following. wish we had a following though. Still, also maybe a picnic show in my backyard. Then when MC Mass finally finishes his album, a much better show. I'm already miles ahead of myself. I want the Cool Winners junk to have been established, MC to move on, the bridge between Nico's folks and us to be built, and the Creepy Ghosts explained. All that's in the past to me. In my mind, my entire career (past and future) is all just in the past. I think we need to bite off something we can barely swallow. Disappoint a lot of folks except the ones who pay enough attention. Already.
Tabloids about us. Able to happen. Just no idea who the hell we are. Death wish. we're all in chaos, not chaotic chaos but left over chaos from when we were in chaos. Not big enough to be chaotic. There's an entire story here. He's torn, Georgie. This is drama. So, what? Do I just write the biopic or the documentary? Who wants the same story, twice? It's a multiverse, so it quenches but also drouts. Thirsty as hell.
An that dreadful To-Do list. Somethings literally can only be done in a certain light. You Know? Begging to work myself to death. The way I want to work, clearly. Stop this, it's nonsense. For people to just eat these things. This store is just gluttony. Why put so much emphasis on FOOD? Out of their minds. That, in fact, should be the ring of hell for sinners of gluttony. Food as a goal, as comfort, as something to talk about, life? Ridiculous. I wouldn't mind any of these folks just going to hell. Ok, I shouldn't be at this point. This is how everyone ever has complained about work. I've been complaining about work all of my life.
I must explode.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Newt Rick
Anyhow, despite impossibility, yeah I woke up fine this morning. I mean impossibility of it having been this morning, not the fact that it was unbelievable that I'd wake up fine. I just get cryptic when it comes to the edge of bragging about technology.
Still one of those fly-by grocery days where I spend the entire time in my own head, finishing old arguments or debating on how the hell to get out. As soon as I got back home, I showered and just took a walk. The old walk I used to take. That old cliche of going to one's quiet place. Might as well.
While gone, I guess it's confirmed that we may start working on Dait-A-Base. In all honesty, I just hope I get to direct it. I had to watch Ed Wood, yesterday, just for the scenes where he's finally making Plan 9. Just to hear the lines like "are you people insane?" (probably not exact) and Orson Welles' part. It's like, I've come here for this reason. I've got to take hold of something, somehow.
I've been too quiet. There's proof. I've been running this through my head: "throughout each day, I only say 5 things. That's if you count 'heh.'" Which isn't necessarily true, but I have had to pipe down for the most part. Not that I say a lot. Which is what I am trying to explain. If I had just talked all through high school, and if I just talk now, would more people know about the things that I want to do? I mean, no one has actually asked me about that side of myself, at work. Agh. The words. Even though I was asked about music preference and my comedy act. Fragment. Physical proof that I don't speak out is that my voice is actually terrible. It doesn't get much exercise either. It's supposed to be "I wonder what Pito sounds like when he sings," not "don't let Pito sing, have you heard his little comedy songs?" Still, no matter what anyone else says- nobody has heard me sing. My lung capacity. The fact that people even associate me with comedy. People misunderstanding all of that for me actually wanting to sing. Voice is on my "Work on:" list. So is Time Management. Which brings me to the other part of today...
Went through some old things I've written and, of course, drawings I've done. The relevance of those things rely on what it is that I actually want to work on next. With the whole Time Management thing, I need to agh. Not even the surface. Furniture, my old files, my new files, catalog, to-do list, resolutions, sleep, work, this Twill bs. Not even to mention that I finally got somewhere with any whit-worth of a social life. Actually sounds like a saying. Alright, let's see if I can prioritize on my way into sleep. This is the 23rd though. Well, now it's actually 24 but all pretend. Not obligated, just making sure.
Consumed.
Still one of those fly-by grocery days where I spend the entire time in my own head, finishing old arguments or debating on how the hell to get out. As soon as I got back home, I showered and just took a walk. The old walk I used to take. That old cliche of going to one's quiet place. Might as well.
While gone, I guess it's confirmed that we may start working on Dait-A-Base. In all honesty, I just hope I get to direct it. I had to watch Ed Wood, yesterday, just for the scenes where he's finally making Plan 9. Just to hear the lines like "are you people insane?" (probably not exact) and Orson Welles' part. It's like, I've come here for this reason. I've got to take hold of something, somehow.
I've been too quiet. There's proof. I've been running this through my head: "throughout each day, I only say 5 things. That's if you count 'heh.'" Which isn't necessarily true, but I have had to pipe down for the most part. Not that I say a lot. Which is what I am trying to explain. If I had just talked all through high school, and if I just talk now, would more people know about the things that I want to do? I mean, no one has actually asked me about that side of myself, at work. Agh. The words. Even though I was asked about music preference and my comedy act. Fragment. Physical proof that I don't speak out is that my voice is actually terrible. It doesn't get much exercise either. It's supposed to be "I wonder what Pito sounds like when he sings," not "don't let Pito sing, have you heard his little comedy songs?" Still, no matter what anyone else says- nobody has heard me sing. My lung capacity. The fact that people even associate me with comedy. People misunderstanding all of that for me actually wanting to sing. Voice is on my "Work on:" list. So is Time Management. Which brings me to the other part of today...
Went through some old things I've written and, of course, drawings I've done. The relevance of those things rely on what it is that I actually want to work on next. With the whole Time Management thing, I need to agh. Not even the surface. Furniture, my old files, my new files, catalog, to-do list, resolutions, sleep, work, this Twill bs. Not even to mention that I finally got somewhere with any whit-worth of a social life. Actually sounds like a saying. Alright, let's see if I can prioritize on my way into sleep. This is the 23rd though. Well, now it's actually 24 but all pretend. Not obligated, just making sure.
Consumed.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Back
On this day. Of course, it's the day i wake up at 6:30 to my alarm. In my old room. I sing along with my alarm. I still don't want to wake up. At the same time, my mom is walking into the house to wake me up. I hear her walk down the steps because that's where she thinks I'm sleeping. I keep pretending to look at my phone, so that when she opens the door, she knows I'm already awake. Outside the door, she tells me there's breakfast. I try to kind of get a little stretch more of sleep, until I figure it's useless. Then, I smack my eye to wake myself up, and there we go. No time for that shower I needed. Just time to get to work with that haircut.
I honestly don't know how my hair got to this stage again. The big puffed curly thing I always end up with. There wasn't the stage in between where it starts to get curly. Just already annoying hair that I was trying to grow just so i can get a good haircut. Day went by fast again because it was grocery. Mom brought the 4 jugs to fill with water, when she came to pick me up. Went home a shower, and read some old magazines with interviews of Outkast and Goodie Mob. Wanted to dose off. Instead, Fide and Grant came over. It was planned, but almost a chance to sleep.
They kept asking about fruit to eat, and they were looking around my room trying to tease me for being serious. Turns out, I'm fine. I did great. Only problem now, is that I hadn't been able to fit in any exercise in the past month. I noticed, but no one else did. Always the problem. You can never tell. Nick, to make himself feel better sometimes, tries to tell me I'm trying to make myself feel better when I talk about how I know I'm doing better in the fitness area. Heh, not related to the situation, though. Anyway, after a while of whatever, we leave. My mom says she's going to buy me something for dinner this night, for when I come back. Yeah, we left my house and headed to Grant's.
I kind of feel 'eh' because their latest mindset has just been the Twill project. I wasn't so excited about it soon after I came up with it, but I guess the right mood makes it better. Still, when I found out that we can work on anything ad that the Twill video wasn't going to be the main focus, I became enthused. I said, "In that case, let's just do a quick talkshow video." So we did. Somewhat of a Cool Winners show, but it couldn't be any type of Cool Winners Show because it doesn't play on what it means to be a cool-winner. An average talkshow type thing, with bloopers and all. Finally got over that "love doctor" idea I'd been wanting to do. Easy. I hope I look ok when the video is done. It's kind of not my character.
Grant's parents got us some pizzas, that we were excited about using in the video. After all the mess, we did end up getting back to Twill. Of course, it ws a different song. I guess the whole Twilogy thing is ok as side-project. I mean, for me, it's strictly a side-project. Still, we worked on a pretty good new track. Hah. Then, another. I also got to finish my cosmic girl song. Not what I was expecting, but ok for now. We also very quickly made a little bit of an old-fashioned 'rap diss, aimed at Grant's brother and his friend's little rap group they started. Nice. Oh yeah Fide recorded 2 songs by accident. Hm. At a certain point, they copped out and wanted to go to bed. Eh.
Whoa, i guess that was it.
I honestly don't know how my hair got to this stage again. The big puffed curly thing I always end up with. There wasn't the stage in between where it starts to get curly. Just already annoying hair that I was trying to grow just so i can get a good haircut. Day went by fast again because it was grocery. Mom brought the 4 jugs to fill with water, when she came to pick me up. Went home a shower, and read some old magazines with interviews of Outkast and Goodie Mob. Wanted to dose off. Instead, Fide and Grant came over. It was planned, but almost a chance to sleep.
They kept asking about fruit to eat, and they were looking around my room trying to tease me for being serious. Turns out, I'm fine. I did great. Only problem now, is that I hadn't been able to fit in any exercise in the past month. I noticed, but no one else did. Always the problem. You can never tell. Nick, to make himself feel better sometimes, tries to tell me I'm trying to make myself feel better when I talk about how I know I'm doing better in the fitness area. Heh, not related to the situation, though. Anyway, after a while of whatever, we leave. My mom says she's going to buy me something for dinner this night, for when I come back. Yeah, we left my house and headed to Grant's.
I kind of feel 'eh' because their latest mindset has just been the Twill project. I wasn't so excited about it soon after I came up with it, but I guess the right mood makes it better. Still, when I found out that we can work on anything ad that the Twill video wasn't going to be the main focus, I became enthused. I said, "In that case, let's just do a quick talkshow video." So we did. Somewhat of a Cool Winners show, but it couldn't be any type of Cool Winners Show because it doesn't play on what it means to be a cool-winner. An average talkshow type thing, with bloopers and all. Finally got over that "love doctor" idea I'd been wanting to do. Easy. I hope I look ok when the video is done. It's kind of not my character.
Grant's parents got us some pizzas, that we were excited about using in the video. After all the mess, we did end up getting back to Twill. Of course, it ws a different song. I guess the whole Twilogy thing is ok as side-project. I mean, for me, it's strictly a side-project. Still, we worked on a pretty good new track. Hah. Then, another. I also got to finish my cosmic girl song. Not what I was expecting, but ok for now. We also very quickly made a little bit of an old-fashioned 'rap diss, aimed at Grant's brother and his friend's little rap group they started. Nice. Oh yeah Fide recorded 2 songs by accident. Hm. At a certain point, they copped out and wanted to go to bed. Eh.
Whoa, i guess that was it.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Nap
Just woke up, right quick. Ate that slice of carrot cake that I was trying to save room for. It's ok, though. Worked the bulk section. I was out of it, today. Self-esteem, kinda. Eh.
Actually, last night, I knew that at some point today my mood'd be altered by the fact that I'd become sleepy later on. Just sleepy, not the other mood alternators.
Activated debit card, two days off tomorrow and the day after. First weekend in a while, and it's not even on a weekend. I have somewhat of a little day planned for tomorrow, though. Nothing huge, but just a casual errand day. That I approve of.
Then, next Friday, I get to go to the aquarium. So, I'm good. Oh yeah, this one mad who gave the vibe of a stand-up comedian was talking to me today. Talking about health foods and giving off the aura of a confident worker. He must know a thing or two. Literally.
ok, plus I was probably subconsciously slipped the notion of wanting to eat lasagna for dinner tonight, now that I think about it. Alright, already ashamed of wasting space for today.
Heap.
Actually, last night, I knew that at some point today my mood'd be altered by the fact that I'd become sleepy later on. Just sleepy, not the other mood alternators.
Activated debit card, two days off tomorrow and the day after. First weekend in a while, and it's not even on a weekend. I have somewhat of a little day planned for tomorrow, though. Nothing huge, but just a casual errand day. That I approve of.
Then, next Friday, I get to go to the aquarium. So, I'm good. Oh yeah, this one mad who gave the vibe of a stand-up comedian was talking to me today. Talking about health foods and giving off the aura of a confident worker. He must know a thing or two. Literally.
ok, plus I was probably subconsciously slipped the notion of wanting to eat lasagna for dinner tonight, now that I think about it. Alright, already ashamed of wasting space for today.
Heap.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Hold
Ok, I have to kind of stenograph these minutes right quick.
Listening to old tracks that I wasn't able to listen to for a while. Made me feel pretty good, honestly. Maybe it had to do with being reminded of 2007. Last year in the house. That was the year where I was all so glee.
So that plus the fact that people 'liked' what I said about everyone I meet giving me character ideas, made me feel that ol' feeling I haven't felt in a while. It's good. Who to say no.
Now, the reason I'm scribing this is so as not to get these confused with the fact that right now I'm also thinking of Cool Winners comedy bits which is actually kind of a side thing now. Kind of bringing me down actually. I'm actually excited about the Cosmic Girl thing... but I ended up personalizing it.
The whole good feeling came from me thinking about, with the experience I have now, and the people who actually follow the things I do- what if I actually do something that'll.. I don't know. I looked up that quote from the Curtis comic I read yesterday. "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." Which actually turns out to be a Bill Cosby quote. It kind of reinstates the whole truth of how when I actually do the things that I like, then people also appreciate it. All I have to do is not do things that I like to do just because people like when I do it. Same with what Conan said about being kind. I'd much rather be kind these days.
Now, the feeling is back again now that I stopped talking about Cool Win stuff. It had also wobbled on the fence when I thought about if I had a website. I'm trying to crack this code. I obviously feel good when I have everyone's support, and that makes me want to keep doing what I like to do. Then I think about how to consolidate those things, which brings to mind.. agh Film, a website, and live shows. That's 50%. Ok, now when I think about those albums or whatever I feel enthusiastic, but I think it might be the whole creative control thing. Oop. Gone.
Ok this and the other are the things in my head. Actually, it seems to be the same thing. Is there such thing as staying in seclusion in order to work on yourself or is it working with the people who appreciate you that gets you into being more productive. And how to split responsibilities with a co worker, basically?
Today was a question day. Still is.
Listening to old tracks that I wasn't able to listen to for a while. Made me feel pretty good, honestly. Maybe it had to do with being reminded of 2007. Last year in the house. That was the year where I was all so glee.
So that plus the fact that people 'liked' what I said about everyone I meet giving me character ideas, made me feel that ol' feeling I haven't felt in a while. It's good. Who to say no.
Now, the reason I'm scribing this is so as not to get these confused with the fact that right now I'm also thinking of Cool Winners comedy bits which is actually kind of a side thing now. Kind of bringing me down actually. I'm actually excited about the Cosmic Girl thing... but I ended up personalizing it.
The whole good feeling came from me thinking about, with the experience I have now, and the people who actually follow the things I do- what if I actually do something that'll.. I don't know. I looked up that quote from the Curtis comic I read yesterday. "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." Which actually turns out to be a Bill Cosby quote. It kind of reinstates the whole truth of how when I actually do the things that I like, then people also appreciate it. All I have to do is not do things that I like to do just because people like when I do it. Same with what Conan said about being kind. I'd much rather be kind these days.
Now, the feeling is back again now that I stopped talking about Cool Win stuff. It had also wobbled on the fence when I thought about if I had a website. I'm trying to crack this code. I obviously feel good when I have everyone's support, and that makes me want to keep doing what I like to do. Then I think about how to consolidate those things, which brings to mind.. agh Film, a website, and live shows. That's 50%. Ok, now when I think about those albums or whatever I feel enthusiastic, but I think it might be the whole creative control thing. Oop. Gone.
Ok this and the other are the things in my head. Actually, it seems to be the same thing. Is there such thing as staying in seclusion in order to work on yourself or is it working with the people who appreciate you that gets you into being more productive. And how to split responsibilities with a co worker, basically?
Today was a question day. Still is.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Redeemed? I wish...
Hey, then.
Alright so that last major event. Ok past, but now I have become an 18. Yeah incredibly embarrassing. My birthday was June 20th, a little bit.
So. New would be...not sure. We actually would like to do another show, and I may just need to look into doing shows for a little bit of a living. Sorry. But just for the sake of doing what I want more.
Here's what I want to see more of, though: I want to actually do films. short films, music videos and all that horrifying junk that makes me wish I was original. I really have no ideas right now, and I don't even know it. And before I find out, I kind of would like to at least help other folks out who are at least a little bit interested in what I do.
It feels like I'm avoiding a couple of folks, but I'm not too sure what I have to work with. People I have in mind to work with soon... well I want to get some of those skater kids to do some acting for me. Hah. I mean, they have camera appeal and they've got open enough minds. Only problem is that I might just be making Wassup Rockers all over again.
It's fine. People have already done everything, we all know but maybe I'll make a difference !!!!!!!!!! :D
Hell.
Pretty much without a camera. Probably the biggest problem. In fact, as soon as I publish this carp, I am going to turn to my sister and ask her where that warranty for my digital camera is. Like I said earlier today, "Life is death without a camera." Obviously not really, but might as well say it if there are popular kids that go around joking about blow-brains... mercy.
Gah and I forgot something good I said lat night before I fell asleep. YES!
ok, have fun though.
Alright so that last major event. Ok past, but now I have become an 18. Yeah incredibly embarrassing. My birthday was June 20th, a little bit.
So. New would be...not sure. We actually would like to do another show, and I may just need to look into doing shows for a little bit of a living. Sorry. But just for the sake of doing what I want more.
Here's what I want to see more of, though: I want to actually do films. short films, music videos and all that horrifying junk that makes me wish I was original. I really have no ideas right now, and I don't even know it. And before I find out, I kind of would like to at least help other folks out who are at least a little bit interested in what I do.
It feels like I'm avoiding a couple of folks, but I'm not too sure what I have to work with. People I have in mind to work with soon... well I want to get some of those skater kids to do some acting for me. Hah. I mean, they have camera appeal and they've got open enough minds. Only problem is that I might just be making Wassup Rockers all over again.
It's fine. People have already done everything, we all know but maybe I'll make a difference !!!!!!!!!! :D
Hell.
Pretty much without a camera. Probably the biggest problem. In fact, as soon as I publish this carp, I am going to turn to my sister and ask her where that warranty for my digital camera is. Like I said earlier today, "Life is death without a camera." Obviously not really, but might as well say it if there are popular kids that go around joking about blow-brains... mercy.
Gah and I forgot something good I said lat night before I fell asleep. YES!
ok, have fun though.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Embarrassed.
-_-
Hello, men.
It's a Tuesday.. Kinda miserable so all that's left is some reflection. Rich people type.
BUT. Last Saturday: June 6th, We finally performed the Cool Winners live show.
You know, our comedy team. The whole show's up on the youth tubes, but hey it went well.
Who knows how it actually all started though.. Like, months ago.. Justin and I at Swayze's. Oh yeah it was that uncomfortable night. Whoa now that I look back at it. Incredible, haha. All the stuff that happened the night the live show was conceived...
I was just... hanging out at Nico's house or something.. Nothing was actually happening..yet, but I was there for a while and I ended up leaving because he and his friends were going to some other show in Atlanta.
As I was leaving the street he lives on, I ran into this group of people with make up. They turned out to be associated with some college improv comedy group or something. I'm sure their comedy is probably not so well but that actually kind of peaked interest i guess.
Eh going nowhere. I went home for a bit that night.. My sister was home and I told her about that and about the Ska night at Swayze's that was going on. Eh. We went by where they were doing the comedy and just picked up some info but ugh. Then we just went to the ska show, though.
Eh Ska, I know...but Justin was there for the benefit of Chase Bailey and the Disreguardables no doubt. It was pretty confusing for me in general, just there with those school folks agh. Hey but at some point, I was feeling a little bold and I just kind of thought. I saw the owner of the place kind of walking around, and I just mentioned to Justin the thought of asking if we could do a comedy show there.
Then I guess we did, and I mean. Went well in the endLook, I guess I can top this off When I feel a little bit more involved,
So, in closing: lol lol dud wtf
Hello, men.
It's a Tuesday.. Kinda miserable so all that's left is some reflection. Rich people type.
BUT. Last Saturday: June 6th, We finally performed the Cool Winners live show.
You know, our comedy team. The whole show's up on the youth tubes, but hey it went well.
Who knows how it actually all started though.. Like, months ago.. Justin and I at Swayze's. Oh yeah it was that uncomfortable night. Whoa now that I look back at it. Incredible, haha. All the stuff that happened the night the live show was conceived...
I was just... hanging out at Nico's house or something.. Nothing was actually happening..yet, but I was there for a while and I ended up leaving because he and his friends were going to some other show in Atlanta.
As I was leaving the street he lives on, I ran into this group of people with make up. They turned out to be associated with some college improv comedy group or something. I'm sure their comedy is probably not so well but that actually kind of peaked interest i guess.
Eh going nowhere. I went home for a bit that night.. My sister was home and I told her about that and about the Ska night at Swayze's that was going on. Eh. We went by where they were doing the comedy and just picked up some info but ugh. Then we just went to the ska show, though.
Eh Ska, I know...but Justin was there for the benefit of Chase Bailey and the Disreguardables no doubt. It was pretty confusing for me in general, just there with those school folks agh. Hey but at some point, I was feeling a little bold and I just kind of thought. I saw the owner of the place kind of walking around, and I just mentioned to Justin the thought of asking if we could do a comedy show there.
Then I guess we did, and I mean. Went well in the endLook, I guess I can top this off When I feel a little bit more involved,
So, in closing: lol lol dud wtf
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
About Me
- Peetoes
- Well, as far as I can tell.. I am a man now, but like... I am a guy who thinks he has like good morals and virtues or something but also thinking those are stupid therefore coming off as a bad prick rather than a good prick.