Glad About The Venom

Well yeah, my day can be assumed. Power's in our name. I could be sleeping there, right now but work in the morning. Hm, if that sentence was in different context- The Power is in our name. Back to the phobia of names, again. Opposite, though.

Any chance of projects being lined up, though? MC Mass Murder has announced that he will work on Cone Hat Bear, when he gets back. At this point, I'm not sure if I'm interested in joining that one, not to say I'm invited, but I want to see the magic of Chip Co/ Ain't Ya Business happen again. I want it to remind me of rainy days. That's just my take, though. Still- before he returns, we can wedge in a couple of projects. Actually, when using the packing analogy, the time seems to fit one set of finishing touches on any given previous project, and one decent new project. Need to fix my hair.

See other folks would be like "this junk is exclusive" but hey we have no reporters to yap that kind of bowel. Still, nothing too proud yet. If anyone is exclusive about this type of stuff, it'd be me. Yet, that's contradicting my nature. Hate secrets, but hah exclusive is ok? Glad I'm not a self-loather. Kind of odd to think that the house has had nothing to do with any of the stuff that happened in the bulk of 2008 and 2009. I had never been a live performer in the presence of that home. Wonder what could be done?

I talked to the neighbors. Oh and yeah the landlord is really funny actually. I hadn't had the chance to notice, the last time. Made a couple of jokes about the "dead men" in the basement. Hahahaha. Perceptions. I also found it funny that one of the workers wasn't "allowed to go back in the house" after he got his feet muddied. Closer to a good feeling. Ah yes feeling. It sure isn't a lot of thinking, but it sure is an incredible reward.

Haheh, The fifth dimension of ascension basically. Can't wait. Not that, but the unannounced. Ok we're cleared for moving, created the illusion that that's all I talk about. Done. I kind of just want to stay on the 'projects' topic. Gah poor girl, things are different in time. Oh man, how am I going to spend my time before I finally fall asleep? Forced to be a 'thinking' night. Ashamed of that conflict. It'll be over, soon.

I'm gonna have a laboratory, yeah but I also have to wake up soon enough.

It.

Shouldent

Did a lot more moving. Called in for my next work day. I have tomorrow off. Heh, four day weekend. I go in on tuesday. Actually might take tonight to watch interviews, again. This time, about music. I can say I hear a lot of myself in this new Julian Casablancas album, in a certain way. Either that, or I'm ripping him off in that cosmic girl song I had been making. Gah, it's been months. I haven't heard my own song in months. It's like a phantom limb. Like scratching yer nuns when you don't have arms anymore.

Also got a taste of my old appreciation for the animated arts. How it's not cartooning, not film, and not comedy- but it's all yet none. Story of my ligh. It's good that I'm packing on these plans now because I owe it to myself to act on these things once I get moved in. Hah, see, basically the music video for his song. Sorry, though. I hesitated long enough. Just, how to sync it all up when you see it. All those things that get their chance to get repeated.

Probably actually a good thing to go through phases of favorites and styles, though. Genre phases, and all that. Because it gives you a chance to validly build your pallet. Er, I mean. I'm literally using the turn of phrase "build your pallet" from the wine-tasting guy who was on Conan a long time ago. Conflicts, just voice kind of surprised that I'm using these words. Devil on my shoulder? Er, that is if the whole cynic thing is actually evil. Heh. "Why not try them all?"

Oh of course. What sets this day apart from today... well that whole thing I just explained, kinda. Also my time sitting in both rooms to see which one I actually want. Hah, literally the next time I read this I will have known which room I ended up picking. It's just these days of kind of drinking these Gatorades that are stacked up at the top of the stairs, here. Ways to remember a place I don't want to remember. Also, how do I tap into that part of me that kinda feels bad anytime something good happens? Something feels unsure about right now. I guess it's the end that'll count. I have to promise myself to maintain, you know? Who know? Wait. Hey what's up. I'd have to actually have that same amount of edgy determination that I had when I made sure we were able to move into the house. I ended up saying the right things. The right convincing words. Not manipulative, though. See? Doubt.

Kind of like that Larry 3000 example of time fraying apart. The cards said I had got control of conscious and unconscious thoughts. Either that, or I was going to. Minor? Subject to change, I'll bet. It's fine. Just a lot of dignity falls through broken promise. Ok, I'm having coming up with things to have said. So I'll keep it up. Gah that entertainment business is goofy. Nah, just break it up into its two components. Entertainment? Well, see for me that just what I'd like to see. Things I'd like to see. Like, when you wake up one day and kind of want to go jogging, but you also want to record a song for yourself to jog to. So you fart it out, and go jogging the best jog you've ever done. Ok, before the second component, I want to hear another example. Hm. Ha, ok, here's one. Ever feel like you've been deprived of a childhood? No. Well, let's say you were deprived, and you never got your saturday morning cartoons. Hah, I like how this one is going. Yeah, you can sit and just create a cast of goofy superheroes that teach you lessons you probably didn't even know you knew. Yeah, but the saturday morning television angle specifically- could also probably do some campy live action rescue ranger er hah hey why not Powered Range-men?

Yeah, I see what I mean. Still feel like something is missing.. Plus I could write stories based upon book titles that I've never read. Like, how they give off the impression of something far out. Basically judging books by their cover, yet being convince that your judgment is actually what is in the book. Ok, then the business part. Yeah, I've had this conversation before. I know. Oh yeah? Nice paychecks, then. Hey. Well, I guess I have some capital now.. Hopefully. Wait, but "entertainment" was given a different spin on what it means in the context of "entertainment business." Hm, well then. Four components. Each word in half. The word in its connotation with the two word phrase, and how it benefits yourself. Though, business begins to explain itself.

Alright, well I think I've had enough. Well, I haven't. So, pace.

Sapp

There's all this gross laundry detergent crud sauce all over my dresser. I've been packing lot of my junk and getting all that stuff together. Already moved some stuff over, and had my first urine of the new house. Gah, I'm speaking in Product Placement terms. Anyway, spent the last couple of house making sure all my little things are in boxes, taping them up, and setting them aside. Impressive dinner.

I started out the day, just kinda looking at the snow because it's a lot more than any other time it has snowed here recently. I tried to figure out what to do with it. It wouldn't pack into any shapes, though. Oh yeah the first thing I did was walk in it while I was in pajamas and no shoes or socks. But it's quicker to melt this time too. So, it's basically dying out.

The water heater is electric, though. So that means hot water even if we don't turn on the gas right away. Physically possible to live in the house right now. Of course.

Ok, but yesterday. How often do you see a real live or life shark, swimming above your head, and snow in the same day? Definitely accomplished, yesterday. Today, I've put in the work for accomplishment but I don't feel like I'm done. Maybe yesterday's only accomplished in hindsight.

Paranoia of displaying what song is stuck in my head right now? Or to even mention using websites. Not liking to use anything with copyright capital letters.

Ok, they callin me. Wait, no

Schnei

Lying there for a while. Hide under the blanket. Think about some other apartment. About time to wake up. Mom walks in room. What time is it? It was around 10, that's when the aquarium actually opens. I wasn't still sleepy, but yeah got up.

Also kind of just trying to come up with things to say, meanwhile. Eye-catching bs. Redeeming self for typing mistakes. One or the other. Obviously able to come up with a lot of good junk, but it's all coming out like gross and corn starch. Brown with corn starch. The fact that I'm slightly more familiar with corn starch. Flax seed. Roaches.

So, it was time to go. Actually did shower first thing, which I don't usually do. I shower in the mornings, yes, but not on the first trip to the bathroom. Not here, at least.

Actually had to "eenie meenie miney mo" about whether or not to wear what I was planning on wearing. Turns out the clothes I ended up picking happened to be right next to each other. I guess this red hoodie does make me look bigger, then. I saw my picture that they took at the aquarium. It's a mess. I've been going to work like that. Gah. Such a waste because this is always a slimming shirt. Ugh. No, my point is thatWait why I am missing this stuff. I'm out of it. Wish that had the connotation I was going for. All of this. It changes.

He

Oh yeah, and at the aquarium, it started to snow. We didn't know until we overheard someone telling one of the employees. Such a drastic change, too. What the hell, I can't remember the significance in chronological order. Frozen pizza, with a pun written on the box. The jokes people make of my names. Names. This is leading me somewhere, I'm sure. Ah yes, had to memorize loads of names. Photographic memory- of course! Hah. A call back. That's why the first person to explain photographic memory to me just peeked her head in to say hi. That John Mayer situation going on is just one of those stupid things people are wrong about. Yeah I was playing with photographic memory today. On the way back, I memorized a few license plates. I still remember them. One of them had the number(s) 1940, which might end up having some type of fallacy of a significance. The other was 9874. Less attractive because it doesn't look like a past year. I guarantee if I lived in a year like 9874, I would vomit at least once in that year.

I find myself asking why none of those girls who consider themselves to be the' type of girl to just tell people off' and what not, never say anything like that to me when I know that what I'm saying- reflected in their mindset- would definitely stir something up. Also just looked up "phobia of people's names" and ended up with nomatophobia. Could just be some jive. I honestly didn't think I'd be unable to focus at the end of this day. Hah Mr. Jones.

It sanowed yeah it sanowed today and there is the possibility of not having to work tomorrow. There. Already earned my 100 for the week, though. I guess the problem is that I either have a headache from my jaws again, or I have a headache from trying to concentrate which actually wouldn't even cause a headache.

done.

Carnage

Mmm, some didn't feel like I got a good sleep because I think I was having dreams that I was working. Dreams about sleeping on the job and getting in trouble. Of course I was tired in the dream because in real life I was sleeping, so each time the dream-me tried to snap out of it, the real me would wake up. Another incredible example of the dreams that I used to have. Except they used to be about school... they were my version of the whole nightmare of showing up to school in underwear. Actually, I think I had something like those dreams, too. Luckily, today at work was nothing like that. I merked work today. Until the part where I had no idea where to put the samples tray. I might get a warning about that, later on. Although it might not matter because I'm off tomorrow... But yeah, I was awesome today. I answered customers' questions like it was just somethin to do. Badass. Speaking of which, I'm going to buy a wallet. Hah.

And where yesterday ties into today was the whole shyness thing. I was incredibly introverted yesterday. Even when the other 18 year old made an attempt to kinda meet me for the first time, I was just all in work-mode. Stumbling over words and just not able to consider the fact that other people are human beings. Kind of. I mean, before I went to bed last night yeah I did think of how- when I was in school, every adult was just an authority figure. Then, when I turned 18 all the teachers, to me just seem "yeah ok big whoop." Now it's the students I have to worry about talking to. They're all youngs, and I'd look like a "creep" if I talked to any of them. What I'm doing right now is admitting the problem. If I am not a cresp, then it shouldn't matter. My thought process, though, was that now that I'm 18, then everybody who is an adult is just basically a peer. I don't have to feel so pressured by them. Hm, haven't told myself that in a while. I'd just been kind of scared of new folks, all over again. Like I used to be.

Anyway, I'm going to the aquarium tomorrow of course. Better remind myself not to wear my belt. They have metal detectors. I hope I get to borrow a camera, to prove that I'm not so poor that I can't just go to the aquarium whenever I feel like it. Haha, nah. Ugh. Though. The point is that, we can also start moving this weekend. I'm amused at this still. I made this happen, kinda. Like things were set in place, and I just had to do my part. I guess that's how it works. Keep feeling like I'm forgetting things. Not like "feel like I'm forgetting something" but it's the way I felt in my dream last night. 'I could get in so much trouble if I get caught napping.' Gah, where the hell is Justin? What if I was just kind of meant to go to New York, all of this time? I never felt too particular about New York at all, but now that I think about how they are about calling browns "spanish" or "Puerto Ricans," the city might kind of mach my mindset. Agh, not based upon only that, but if that's just what brown folk are, then.. Heh. No way to explain it. I'll try it, one day.

is this it?

Cold Supposed

Today is just generally a "cold" day. That's the basis. Other things are little sprouts from just the factor that it feels these temperatures when you're outside. It stings.

I woke up and I was having these dreams, kind of while I was waking up and then when I was awake. I don't know. I dreamt that I was at a combination of Woodpointe (apartments by the school, where Nick lives) and what is now called Madison at the Knolls (where I used to live.) I was having an internal debate on whether or not I should be trying to impress a certain point. It was already a situation where things would end up negative because of how things always go in the past, but when I didn't think about it- I was kind of impressive. Then, when I thought about it, I wasn't able to control what I was saying and then I had to keep making up for what I was saying. That's how my dreams are. Hah, that's that scheme of how all my old dreams used to be. Good to know I actually am back. Oh and there were breakfast burritos there, too. When I kind of woke up, I tried to focus on that dream for a while and I think I ended up falling into another dream that kind of continued it. My debate that I was having caused my to try to prove to everyone that I was having this debate, so I went as far as to take a bus for no reason. On the bus, there were some folks I had went to school with [now that I think about it, they might've been the ones I happened to see the last time I rode the bus.] and they were kind of shouting or something. I listened, and when I realized that I was on this bus for no reason, I tried to find the thing you pull to get off. I think I woke up.

Oh and before all of that, I think I had a pretty stressful dream. I don't know. I think I had a few. In that one way.

So, today. I made sure to get some sleep. I had a bunch. Had to bathroom, but I had to wait. Secret shop, 10 piece chicken er. Wrok. Brought back some frees. Tash brought me some DVDs. I'll be doing that before I sleep. A couple of shirry films, somewhat. One of them is actually an incredible idea. It should be in a list of mine, one day. This is all that's kind of going on in my life for this moment. I'd try to seize the day or the whole 'live like it is your last' stuff, but I'm not even sure. I guess I can't say I don't.

And yesterday, literally nothing to explain. I was so close to just posting a review about the new Fox series Past Life because I actually sat down to watch it. That's what I did, yesterday. Put more money in the bank, I think. So, I guess it adds up. The days, I mean.

Good Nigh

Keep On Going Further

Back cracks. "This doesn't exist until I put it on the paper."

Laundry, then scouting for some "we buy golds." Not really, just the one in the mall. Felt bad for some reason, but we got a check. Yeah. If we get messed up, then oh well. Turns out, I'm not greedy, though. Good to know. Oh and before that, we sold 2 dvd's. I got $4.38 store credit. See, not too bad. What I was expecting. Finally deposited that check, and ok should stop talking about money. Just the case.

Heh, since no one else'd find it interesting, I kind of have to mention that leprechaun I saw yesterday, peeking out from behind the corner in the one gold place we went to. Now just one of those nights where I watch interviews. Sorry, but today was just more moment.

That's enough.