I plopped a slice of pizza down on the space next to my laptop, on the table thing that's made for using a laptop in bed. That's enough to get a little bit disgusted with my life lately. Disgusted, specifically because I'd already gotten a pretty unsettling perspective of where my life is at the moment. Though, to know that I can un-selfish-ly say my life is kinda upsetting right now, kind of puts me at ease. It's not terrible but for the first time, I can say it kinda sucks but even then I'm handling it well but I don't know for how long, within reason. Everything is terribly conditional, as well. I already dropped the ball for using the word "laptop" though; as in: "yer life dont suck, ye got a laptop". It's conditional, bruh.
My parents are far away, and so is my older sister with our dog. Before I left for Indiana, back in January I guess, I sorta stole something from Michael's house. It was a little plastic slinky toy that, of course, at some point had been tangled up. One day, I took the time to sit down and untangle it. I took it with me as a token of proof that I can totally fix things if I just work at it, even if some parts of it are still kinda messed up.
What plane of life is that thought process from, anyway? It'd definitely do something in the box office.
As it turns out, what I do though, is come "home," shower (maybe. otherwise, I just wipe my face with an acne scrub thing), toss things from one side of the room to the other, eventually find out that it's too late to begin hanging out with someone, and then stare at things on the web. Now I'm 21 though, I can drink beforehand and gain so much weight. The alternative is actually hanging out with friends, which just makes me anxious about when I'll come back so I can make it to work in the morning. I wake up 15 minutes before work, and show up 3 minutes late. I'm anxious about one of my bosses making the decision to train me on the cash register. I don't want to, I just wanna come in and do the same thing and go home.
The slice of pizza I was eating, though, I got from Matthew who works right next to where I work. One of my most recent oldest friends. I was there hanging out for a bit last night, where I actually bought a sandwich for the hell of it. I wasn't hungry that time, and I wasn't hungry this time. In theory, I ought to save the food for the morning, so I have a reason to wake up. Doesn't work out. Before that, though, I was with a different set of friends. The type of friends that just make me act like a "nice, funny guy". With roommates and coworkers, I'm just "nice" because I need some sort of caution when it comes to the two things that are kinda necessary. I'm nice with these kids though because the caution comes from eh i dont know. Tryna get the summertime high school experience.
Yeah though. Incomplete thoughts, and for that reason, I'm totally not gonna.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Recoil
Alright, so I've made it. At this point I'm finally able to start catching up with myself, hone in on the craft. One thing is waveringly wrong though, at this moment. I have the bodily need of a shower, and I am debating whether or not it would be justified to do that at midnight. I will, I think. There's no way I'd do it in the morning. The odd thing is just that the only other person in the house is someone I still haven't even met. I cant help but imagine how that kind of sums things up lately.
This point in my life will be later looked back upon as that period of time where I was working at Wendy's, debating going to school for the summer, and going to comedy clubs. If anything happens with comedy, I'll just look back on it as a humble beginning. In particular, this being the week before I turn 21, one of the factors is that I'm on a subconsciously consistent search for the reason to keep doing the next thing in line for me. I word it that way because it's not necessarily "a search for a reason to get up in the morning" but a reason to stay up, up, up, and complete that task for the day that will inch me closer to kind of making things work out all over again. Whether or not that happens depends on a lot, but the just-as-consistent truth is that "things won't be the same". We're out of our house. My family is scattered, and the only things that will bring us together are things that can only bring us together had we not even been scattered.
I live with Alex and her boyfriend now. The goal is to get back on my feet and eventually move somewhere with Grant, but I can't figure out how money will work. Eventually, the only option is all of that gaudy success I've always had in mind. The silly stuff, that people always tell you to go to college to ignore. I mean, however long it takes, I still have to work towards the unrealistic. I literally have to, now. Whatever chapters come up will be the spice of it all, but I'm still just as well living some type of journey or whatever.
Points of optimism lately are just the comedy clubs and the possible chance to kinda enter the amature film maker circut. I sort of have a plan. Even today, we kinda got our makeshift writing staff together to plan out possible aspects of a short film we're trying to plop out to turn in to this movie night thing that's going on. Either way, if it works out, we'll have been on the big screen. Something. If that doesn't become a point of optimism, then I don't know. If it works, we'll do more. We'll reach out to others, for style and resources and all that junk. If that gives us a name in the Atlanta scene somehow, then we're totally looking for representation hell yea.
On the other side, I don't know when this will start but, we're going for the comedy market. Luckily we found an open mic night that's not as tense-seeming as the Lauging Skull but still a good place to practice jokes. I don't know what my style will be but that'd take time. I'd rather just get the CoolWin stuff going just to open up the floor to ask someone of management, "Hey can we get, like, a monthly show?" Which, of course, may either lock us in as staples at the venue or just open the door to our style and/or make some sort of name for what we're doing. Shit. Still, the fact that we're doing this and film to get out there, has got to mean something. Otherwise, i dont know, we'll make it a point to the whole "other avenues" type of thing and do other stuff. Do something with the music section, just to kind of get a nod from the music review people to just kind of show that we're slightly just as well inclined to the music thing. Eh. Then we'll get stuck I'm sure, by which point I'd have to remind myself to keep on rotating crops when it comes to making progress. This all just seems reasonable. I've got other things later on I guess.
Enks.
This point in my life will be later looked back upon as that period of time where I was working at Wendy's, debating going to school for the summer, and going to comedy clubs. If anything happens with comedy, I'll just look back on it as a humble beginning. In particular, this being the week before I turn 21, one of the factors is that I'm on a subconsciously consistent search for the reason to keep doing the next thing in line for me. I word it that way because it's not necessarily "a search for a reason to get up in the morning" but a reason to stay up, up, up, and complete that task for the day that will inch me closer to kind of making things work out all over again. Whether or not that happens depends on a lot, but the just-as-consistent truth is that "things won't be the same". We're out of our house. My family is scattered, and the only things that will bring us together are things that can only bring us together had we not even been scattered.
I live with Alex and her boyfriend now. The goal is to get back on my feet and eventually move somewhere with Grant, but I can't figure out how money will work. Eventually, the only option is all of that gaudy success I've always had in mind. The silly stuff, that people always tell you to go to college to ignore. I mean, however long it takes, I still have to work towards the unrealistic. I literally have to, now. Whatever chapters come up will be the spice of it all, but I'm still just as well living some type of journey or whatever.
Points of optimism lately are just the comedy clubs and the possible chance to kinda enter the amature film maker circut. I sort of have a plan. Even today, we kinda got our makeshift writing staff together to plan out possible aspects of a short film we're trying to plop out to turn in to this movie night thing that's going on. Either way, if it works out, we'll have been on the big screen. Something. If that doesn't become a point of optimism, then I don't know. If it works, we'll do more. We'll reach out to others, for style and resources and all that junk. If that gives us a name in the Atlanta scene somehow, then we're totally looking for representation hell yea.
On the other side, I don't know when this will start but, we're going for the comedy market. Luckily we found an open mic night that's not as tense-seeming as the Lauging Skull but still a good place to practice jokes. I don't know what my style will be but that'd take time. I'd rather just get the CoolWin stuff going just to open up the floor to ask someone of management, "Hey can we get, like, a monthly show?" Which, of course, may either lock us in as staples at the venue or just open the door to our style and/or make some sort of name for what we're doing. Shit. Still, the fact that we're doing this and film to get out there, has got to mean something. Otherwise, i dont know, we'll make it a point to the whole "other avenues" type of thing and do other stuff. Do something with the music section, just to kind of get a nod from the music review people to just kind of show that we're slightly just as well inclined to the music thing. Eh. Then we'll get stuck I'm sure, by which point I'd have to remind myself to keep on rotating crops when it comes to making progress. This all just seems reasonable. I've got other things later on I guess.
Enks.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
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About Me
- Peetoes
- Well, as far as I can tell.. I am a man now, but like... I am a guy who thinks he has like good morals and virtues or something but also thinking those are stupid therefore coming off as a bad prick rather than a good prick.