Well, at least one of us is fired from a job.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

You Know You Want To Know I Want To

Couldn't be that much more true. Alright, the problem is that I'd like to have a habit of good health or something. Far-fetched I bet. When, of course, all that is necessary to funnel one's self down into a legitimate topic is some pure reprinting of never-done-before. Pure rambling.

But apparently it was flooding all around me, and I think I missed all of it. I've been missing a lot of things because I am kind of nowhere. Flea powder all over the place. Ok and this, this right here, with the words that aren't really going anywhere- perfect example of realizing that I must be a night person.

I'm great at last minute projects, like when I came up with my best work for school the night before; I always end up working on things later because I come up with the motivation to do them that late. In the mornings, I can't even consider that type of thing.

Completely irrelevant. Gah, nevermind. Maybe later.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Waiting For The Phone To Destroy.

Indention. Well, ok in a void. Last level, kind of. Actually I might have the ability to be a very brilliant writer if I wanted, somehow. Otherwise, it's all basic day to day sheds and bids.

This month, I have definitely come to a certain area of having nothing important going on. Whether it's from having a group conversation and realizing that I don't even actually have social anxiety, or if it's from literally extracting every idea I've ever had. For me- the way I can tell that I have nothing going on or nothing good to think about, is realizing that what I am thinking about is just completely ridiculous. Of course by "completely ridiculous" I mean something along the lines of "way too normal." Things like the homecoming dance, getting jobs, finding a place to live, and entertainment news. I shouldn't have to bother myself with those ideas. I call those normal because the thoughts I would.. normally.. have consist of ideas in the neighborhood of 'creative' and when anyone thinks that way, then it's probably just 'weird.'

Before I elaborate on the specificity of what I actually think about that terminology, I'd like to let out a little something about the last thing I thought about. Now, if I could just completely ignore the fact that I'm no longer in high school... then the actual thing consists of me going to the school's newly established Philosophy Club. There, everyone was given a chance to speak, and introduce who knows what. The group was willing to hear one anothers' personal philosophy on life, and what a pleasant surprise, they wanted to hear mine.

I had nothing.

Pretty difficult, but I knew I had thought this type of bull shed for years. All I do is come up with good quotes for myself to live by. I really couldn't do it this time, so I ended up copping out and trying to explain the Comedy philosophy: something I feel like I had personally used as a foundation for my latest ideas on life. I hit many dead ends explaining this because it wasn't really what I was feeling at the moment. If I were to express this idea, then I'd have to completely be frightful of the fact that I was where I actually was. Comedy is a paranoid philosophy now, and I can't do so well now that there's not so much anxiety involved. So in a last bit of effort, I called up the help of my comedy team to join me. Just set the tone for the rest of the chaos of having a decent sized group of people interested in philosophy.

There was a time, years ago where I actually thought I am really all about philosophy. Then after that, when I realized that I hated it and that it was icky- of course because of the whole desperation of Cool. It's a real stomach ache. But then it all is.

I left the meeting to talk to Alex, in the hall. It ended while I was out there, and I basically left unfulfilled. When you're given a chance to show what you're thinking to some folks who are actually interested- and you just say nothing- is really just.. hell- a tease. That's why I think from now on it's either better in writing or better when asked. Like, i think I like to be interviewed but I'd hate to be questioned. So I might just submit some old writing of mine. Or suggest some questions. Just kind of put off by the confusion. The whole day was pretty disappointing for a lot of people, I noticed.

I forgot what I was leading up to.. oh yeah I just wanted my excuse to be that I was done with making any good points, and so I couldn't speak about anything new when it was finally time to.

But there is still more chances. Those folks didn't judge so harshly. Just ruined it by calling them dumpsters. Oh, and I


About Me

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Well, as far as I can tell.. I am a man now, but like... I am a guy who thinks he has like good morals and virtues or something but also thinking those are stupid therefore coming off as a bad prick rather than a good prick.