Ah, But What Could Be

I was, even within this stream, deep inside the lifestyle of those who won't accept it.

Just to find out what day it is.

Hey. Anybody know where I can find the bathroom? I don't need to use it.

Ok, I guess all I can remember is that there is no set place for the next show. I guess it won't be a problem, either way. I just feel like I'm in a hurry to impress some folks before the others get to them. Yeah, I've made a full circle back in to Trying-To-Impress mode. I'm an old soul, though, I guess I know better. So, I mean. I should know by now, that when you're making sure to impress folks, it's right about the time where you become vulnerable and regain that ability to get offended.

Speech impediment.

So, stop, right? If you don't start it, then you won't open it. Rules made for breaking, promises opening, the dog in the water. Greed, mostly.

Anyway, I guess the show is the main thing. I could take a crack at the other things.

School, zans, fitness, shoulder, and crayon are still around but nah.

Frankly Spangled

Picture the irony of successfully talking about your weekend. There's a chance of using enough description but even more of a chance of no one wanting to know these things.

Recently my weekends have consisted of getting into the inner city somehow, for the sake of making it to the Philosophy Club meeting. Automobile situation-living situation- not important. Still, I had my own little plans. Actually on the way there, my mom and I saw Grant but he was already out of there. I reluctantly head into the school with an embarrassing enough duffel bag or what it was. Me. Going into school. Still not a big deal. Just ethix. Literally a meeting of what I personally would expect to hear from a group called philosophy. Ultimately ending in this, for lack of better words, unusual group of people. Waller, Will, Fide, and I waited outside Nick's house for both him and Alex.

Around this time, I start to get into panic mode because I realize that there is some ill-conceived plan to just go to the movies that night. I actually tried to project my weekend around actually going to the movies, so this wasn't really going to have a good outcome. I tried to voice my opinion the entire night on what would be an actually decent turn of events. Yet- as I had imagined each scenario of how this night would go, the night before, it could only end in any type of end-result crafted just to spite my imagination. I met a new puppy, actually. So of course, given the company that were now present: Nick, Alex, Fide, and Myself, what the hell might as well go to Waffle House of all places. Waller would later join us. I treated myself to something probably fattening, no doubt, and just flat out poor. Well, hey let's not write into Jones, here.

Point is- I accidentally ended up in this situation where the movie theater was right in front of me, and I was stricken with the feeling of having missed the bus on an essential day of school. Basically, I actually did miss the bus on all the important days of my life. No, not really, but somewhere along the lines I ended up where I am now. Is this sense of humor? Or court. Ok. I spent the duration of the movie, alienated, trying to get myself angry and eventually some empathy. Oh yeah, it was cold and rainy too but hey Happy Halloween. I had a little monologue, and walked far away with some headphones in. Oh yeah I need to find those. I walked into who-knows-where and passed what I know now is an airport. Incredibly foggy, on the side of the road, so I had my share of pictures. Hey, what's up.

Not really a point, though. Idk don't exist. Hey. Whats. Nah it was pretty bitter of a night, and I can't decide if my tone toward it should be at all upset or if I should just move on to eh. I remember going to bed though, this bed that was actually pretty amazing. Like a hotel room, kinda. I took of my soggy socks and shoes and just sulked. Hey whats up.

Hallowen. Oops. Halloween. Ok, fast forward through trick-or-treating bilbo and cornish jazz. I don't know where I got a costume from but of course I had my excuses. Eventually having gone to the big party everyone was waiting for. Walked in, stomped around, made sure to be loud, fat kid on couch "tell your friends to leave" bull shed but hey whats. First point to leave some species in the dirty upstairs toilet. Grant threw candy off the balcony, into the living room.

Environment was horrible in the first place. Stereotypical rich college rock and roll men beers and stupid crap all over the place. Bound to have a freak out tonight? Yeah. So went down stairs and played some wholesome Foosball and won accidentally. In awe of the horrifying posters on the wall, which included "College Girls" which was a picture of a girl with a shirt that blatantly said "Figh." Then a stupid college type humor type bs type rules for beer type corn cod piece bs. Some middle aged man walking around with a mohawk and sequins. Stupid couch thing with a wall around it. Fat in white t-shirt. Stereotypical angry drunk man. Then the people we expected, just here as background characters, for some reason. Oh yeah and then the Cool Winners were set to perform. But few people knew.

Made a group trip just to get an iPod from the cray, went back in and spent time avoiding the situation. Got behind the microphone a couple of times until everybody was just pushing the 'hey hurry up guys, bleed bleed bleed' So we invited Will Hammond on stage so we could attempt something we'd been wanting to do for a while, but nah it was horrible.

Our act is based upon failure in the first place, so somehow we did great, but as it went down.. We were set up in front of the completely wrong audience. Fat and drunk aesop, huber, old mohan with sequins, and fat gothic girl. All of them trying to make jokes. Completely so far into it, that I didn't hear anything they were saying and my audience- oh yeah my audience ended up just being my friends, to the right. Yeah because Grant pretty much left the stage once I tried to get him to sing. So, I was all by myself, next to Will Hammond sitting safely to my right.

I declare that

nobody else would have done what I did.

I stayed up there and fought, basically. Made sure I brought them down. Called the fats fat, told them their lives are not good, offered to let the 'tough' guys stab me, called out the whores in the house, and just pissed on the band that people were there to see. Left before they started to play. Which was about the time the freakout was in order. We were planning on leaving so we had to go back in for one last move. We all ran in, and tried to do our own brand of damage. The place was a hell hold in the first place so the worst damage we could do was do damage by doing barely any damage. Hey wht. Ran outside in underwear, I rolled around in someone's lawn, blood dripping but it wasnt real. Nick ran around inn the nude hey whats up

[I continued to write, the next day] But yeah after the freakout, which included the whole nude/underwear thing, we safely decided to just go on ahead to the Marietta Diner. I really felt welcome there. We were to meet Matt, his mom, Zach, and Hannah. They were there celebrating Zach's birthday. Yeah I mean, living like kings kind of. I felt at the top of my game, some zombies and bloody men sat at the table next to us. One thing that made the night beautiful was when the waiters and waitresses came to sing Zach "Happy Birthday" and he ran off, into the bathroom. Couldn't let him miss out, so I walked into the bathroom to see him standing there, with a gigantic shirt, pretending to pee. We got him out of there and he got his prize. Waitress. It was great.

Of course, I ended the night only thinking about the negatives, just like the night before but still, it was a night that I want to make sure to refer to as much as possible. That won't be a lot but it was a night that clearly means something to some weird men.

_Tha Trap_

Is My Zone Tapped?

Grain. So I'm still here, actually. Stuck in this glitch, as if I accidentally walked into shore. And I actually just now went to experience that for myself. I don't know what I saw. And I love not being able to type at all.

Ok, recupe. I'm not able to move out, for some reason. Not able to do anything, and it's hideous. No one has good advice, though. Delusional because I can't remember anything.

So I guess it just makes it better that we're remaking last year. Last year was good, this year was bad. So, I mean. Waiting it out. But I like this time of year, so it's all escape fate. Unless it's role reversal. Whereas, the end of last year kept getting bad, and this year was actually bad, maybe it will get good. But then people's opinions of a good year. Loads of deaths, though.

Ok, well I don't think anyone can get it through their heads that I am in this bind. No one out there is able to see me here, and anyone here thinks this is paradise.

Just like what made me like this in the first place. When I lived in Griffin, the chapter of my life no one knows about. I refuse to relive it, and I am not going to be in a place where I can't wander around aimlessly after midnight. And I will not listen to reruns any more. Ok I am about to stab ijnfc ook ok ok stopo,

You Know You Want To Know I Want To

Couldn't be that much more true. Alright, the problem is that I'd like to have a habit of good health or something. Far-fetched I bet. When, of course, all that is necessary to funnel one's self down into a legitimate topic is some pure reprinting of never-done-before. Pure rambling.

But apparently it was flooding all around me, and I think I missed all of it. I've been missing a lot of things because I am kind of nowhere. Flea powder all over the place. Ok and this, this right here, with the words that aren't really going anywhere- perfect example of realizing that I must be a night person.

I'm great at last minute projects, like when I came up with my best work for school the night before; I always end up working on things later because I come up with the motivation to do them that late. In the mornings, I can't even consider that type of thing.

Completely irrelevant. Gah, nevermind. Maybe later.

Waiting For The Phone To Destroy.

Indention. Well, ok in a void. Last level, kind of. Actually I might have the ability to be a very brilliant writer if I wanted, somehow. Otherwise, it's all basic day to day sheds and bids.

This month, I have definitely come to a certain area of having nothing important going on. Whether it's from having a group conversation and realizing that I don't even actually have social anxiety, or if it's from literally extracting every idea I've ever had. For me- the way I can tell that I have nothing going on or nothing good to think about, is realizing that what I am thinking about is just completely ridiculous. Of course by "completely ridiculous" I mean something along the lines of "way too normal." Things like the homecoming dance, getting jobs, finding a place to live, and entertainment news. I shouldn't have to bother myself with those ideas. I call those normal because the thoughts I would.. normally.. have consist of ideas in the neighborhood of 'creative' and when anyone thinks that way, then it's probably just 'weird.'

Before I elaborate on the specificity of what I actually think about that terminology, I'd like to let out a little something about the last thing I thought about. Now, if I could just completely ignore the fact that I'm no longer in high school... then the actual thing consists of me going to the school's newly established Philosophy Club. There, everyone was given a chance to speak, and introduce who knows what. The group was willing to hear one anothers' personal philosophy on life, and what a pleasant surprise, they wanted to hear mine.

I had nothing.

Pretty difficult, but I knew I had thought this type of bull shed for years. All I do is come up with good quotes for myself to live by. I really couldn't do it this time, so I ended up copping out and trying to explain the Comedy philosophy: something I feel like I had personally used as a foundation for my latest ideas on life. I hit many dead ends explaining this because it wasn't really what I was feeling at the moment. If I were to express this idea, then I'd have to completely be frightful of the fact that I was where I actually was. Comedy is a paranoid philosophy now, and I can't do so well now that there's not so much anxiety involved. So in a last bit of effort, I called up the help of my comedy team to join me. Just set the tone for the rest of the chaos of having a decent sized group of people interested in philosophy.

There was a time, years ago where I actually thought I am really all about philosophy. Then after that, when I realized that I hated it and that it was icky- of course because of the whole desperation of Cool. It's a real stomach ache. But then it all is.

I left the meeting to talk to Alex, in the hall. It ended while I was out there, and I basically left unfulfilled. When you're given a chance to show what you're thinking to some folks who are actually interested- and you just say nothing- is really just.. hell- a tease. That's why I think from now on it's either better in writing or better when asked. Like, i think I like to be interviewed but I'd hate to be questioned. So I might just submit some old writing of mine. Or suggest some questions. Just kind of put off by the confusion. The whole day was pretty disappointing for a lot of people, I noticed.

I forgot what I was leading up to.. oh yeah I just wanted my excuse to be that I was done with making any good points, and so I couldn't speak about anything new when it was finally time to.

But there is still more chances. Those folks didn't judge so harshly. Just ruined it by calling them dumpsters. Oh, and I

Incredibly Late, but Excuses. (now even later)

And a week or so ago, I was in Chicago.

Road trip, of course. With my dad and little sister. Situations around finally being able to but still, after a while, we were able to go.

I guess our reasoning for going was to visit my Grandma..er.. Abuela because she recently had her gallbladder removed. She had been in some pain, and we just took this as an opportunity to help her out while visiting with the rest of the family.

We first got in town at around 10pm, but who knows with the whole time zone thing... we didn't even give the clock much consideration throughout the entire trip. Waiting on us, at my uncle Louis's place, was a meal from Coleman's Barbecue. Does everybody feel the same way about food from their hometown, or is it generally valid for me to actually really like this restaurant? Hah, visiting Chicago., and eating food. I mean, it really feels like there are no consequences to having eaten these things. Gained pounds during the trip eh I'm fine.

Oh and, as an aside, the first thing I remember seeing when we got into the big city was a huge iTouch or iPhone advertisement on the side of a building. On that building were some rickety stairs, like the usual cliche city fire escape ones, and in that moment I just imagine an entire sequence of someone shooting an incredibly gaudy music video on the stairs, and then being interrupted of course by the stairs crashing down. And to myself, I just started laughing in amusement at the fact that I thought of that whole visualization so swiftly. Eh impressed.

But no, we just slept that night because the trip was just tiring.

The next day, we were going to my grandmother's house for breakfast, and to see my uncle Jerry and others. During the day, my dad stayed with his mom while I rode around with uncle Jerry.

He was set on taking me to buy some clothes I suppose. Which was kind of a.. situation because I'm right in the midst of a mindset of straying away from having to buy modern fashions. So, I wasn't picking out anything, and passively picky. I mean. We were at a flea market type place, filled with vendors selling incredible amounts of bootleg Michael Jackson apparel and music. Disturbed, we left and I just had him buy me some pants at Burlington Coat Factory.

Still, with my uncle, he told me that Lollapalooza was actually in town. Now, my uncle, is somehow connected with the whole 'pimp' culture -remember culture, not lifestyle- so he was especially in the know about Snoop Dogg performing that night. Agh, in depth... he is friends with Bishop Don Juan, and he has met Snoop Dogg and Katt Williams several times- that's the type of thing I'm trying to explain here. Not great friends, but still around..I guess. I don't know. But the point is that, he was trying to get in touch with Don Juan to see if we could get in to see the show. He actually had me text him on his phone, while he drove. However, after all that, nothing happened.

One thing that did happen was meeting "Debbie the glass lady". She is the official person that makes all of the 'pimp cups' and other jeweled items that are seen in various places. He was going to visit her for something, and he had to use the bathroom when he got there so she invited me in to look at her wall of celebrities with her glasses and other accessories. "You don't get on this wall unless you have a cup." The one thing that stood out to me was the fact that she had a lot of dvd's in her entertainment center. There was loads!

[and i dont think i was finished with this though]

At Least A Little Variation

ok, not to sound like "New Fashion Line Coming out in 2 Months" but still.

Here, I guess I'm warming up. Warming up, though....something I'd rather avoid because it's hot. No it's just so hot. No it's really not fair. Ouch ridiculous.

I'm still trying to find my "backdoor" because this is not living up to my standards. No. I will not take it, I am above. For sure.

Well, I guess it's time to set up the old online bank account. And I guess I'm not getting any answers from myself, so this is headed nowhere.

Ah craig.

Whoa I'm not interested.

Kill your doctor kill your downey

Redeemed? I wish...

Hey, then.

Alright so that last major event. Ok past, but now I have become an 18. Yeah incredibly embarrassing. My birthday was June 20th, a little bit.

So. New would be...not sure. We actually would like to do another show, and I may just need to look into doing shows for a little bit of a living. Sorry. But just for the sake of doing what I want more.

Here's what I want to see more of, though: I want to actually do films. short films, music videos and all that horrifying junk that makes me wish I was original. I really have no ideas right now, and I don't even know it. And before I find out, I kind of would like to at least help other folks out who are at least a little bit interested in what I do.

It feels like I'm avoiding a couple of folks, but I'm not too sure what I have to work with. People I have in mind to work with soon... well I want to get some of those skater kids to do some acting for me. Hah. I mean, they have camera appeal and they've got open enough minds. Only problem is that I might just be making Wassup Rockers all over again.

It's fine. People have already done everything, we all know but maybe I'll make a difference !!!!!!!!!! :D

Hell.

Pretty much without a camera. Probably the biggest problem. In fact, as soon as I publish this carp, I am going to turn to my sister and ask her where that warranty for my digital camera is. Like I said earlier today, "Life is death without a camera." Obviously not really, but might as well say it if there are popular kids that go around joking about blow-brains... mercy.

Gah and I forgot something good I said lat night before I fell asleep. YES!

ok, have fun though.

Embarrassed.

-_-

Hello, men.
It's a Tuesday.. Kinda miserable so all that's left is some reflection. Rich people type.

BUT. Last Saturday: June 6th, We finally performed the Cool Winners live show.
You know, our comedy team. The whole show's up on the youth tubes, but hey it went well.

Who knows how it actually all started though.. Like, months ago.. Justin and I at Swayze's. Oh yeah it was that uncomfortable night. Whoa now that I look back at it. Incredible, haha. All the stuff that happened the night the live show was conceived...

I was just... hanging out at Nico's house or something.. Nothing was actually happening..yet, but I was there for a while and I ended up leaving because he and his friends were going to some other show in Atlanta.

As I was leaving the street he lives on, I ran into this group of people with make up. They turned out to be associated with some college improv comedy group or something. I'm sure their comedy is probably not so well but that actually kind of peaked interest i guess.

Eh going nowhere. I went home for a bit that night.. My sister was home and I told her about that and about the Ska night at Swayze's that was going on. Eh. We went by where they were doing the comedy and just picked up some info but ugh. Then we just went to the ska show, though.

Eh Ska, I know...but Justin was there for the benefit of Chase Bailey and the Disreguardables no doubt. It was pretty confusing for me in general, just there with those school folks agh. Hey but at some point, I was feeling a little bold and I just kind of thought. I saw the owner of the place kind of walking around, and I just mentioned to Justin the thought of asking if we could do a comedy show there.

Then I guess we did, and I mean. Went well in the endLook, I guess I can top this off When I feel a little bit more involved,

So, in closing: lol lol dud wtf