Well, at least one of us is fired from a job.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Glad About The Venom

Well yeah, my day can be assumed. Power's in our name. I could be sleeping there, right now but work in the morning. Hm, if that sentence was in different context- The Power is in our name. Back to the phobia of names, again. Opposite, though.

Any chance of projects being lined up, though? MC Mass Murder has announced that he will work on Cone Hat Bear, when he gets back. At this point, I'm not sure if I'm interested in joining that one, not to say I'm invited, but I want to see the magic of Chip Co/ Ain't Ya Business happen again. I want it to remind me of rainy days. That's just my take, though. Still- before he returns, we can wedge in a couple of projects. Actually, when using the packing analogy, the time seems to fit one set of finishing touches on any given previous project, and one decent new project. Need to fix my hair.

See other folks would be like "this junk is exclusive" but hey we have no reporters to yap that kind of bowel. Still, nothing too proud yet. If anyone is exclusive about this type of stuff, it'd be me. Yet, that's contradicting my nature. Hate secrets, but hah exclusive is ok? Glad I'm not a self-loather. Kind of odd to think that the house has had nothing to do with any of the stuff that happened in the bulk of 2008 and 2009. I had never been a live performer in the presence of that home. Wonder what could be done?

I talked to the neighbors. Oh and yeah the landlord is really funny actually. I hadn't had the chance to notice, the last time. Made a couple of jokes about the "dead men" in the basement. Hahahaha. Perceptions. I also found it funny that one of the workers wasn't "allowed to go back in the house" after he got his feet muddied. Closer to a good feeling. Ah yes feeling. It sure isn't a lot of thinking, but it sure is an incredible reward.

Haheh, The fifth dimension of ascension basically. Can't wait. Not that, but the unannounced. Ok we're cleared for moving, created the illusion that that's all I talk about. Done. I kind of just want to stay on the 'projects' topic. Gah poor girl, things are different in time. Oh man, how am I going to spend my time before I finally fall asleep? Forced to be a 'thinking' night. Ashamed of that conflict. It'll be over, soon.

I'm gonna have a laboratory, yeah but I also have to wake up soon enough.


Sunday, February 14, 2010


Did a lot more moving. Called in for my next work day. I have tomorrow off. Heh, four day weekend. I go in on tuesday. Actually might take tonight to watch interviews, again. This time, about music. I can say I hear a lot of myself in this new Julian Casablancas album, in a certain way. Either that, or I'm ripping him off in that cosmic girl song I had been making. Gah, it's been months. I haven't heard my own song in months. It's like a phantom limb. Like scratching yer nuns when you don't have arms anymore.

Also got a taste of my old appreciation for the animated arts. How it's not cartooning, not film, and not comedy- but it's all yet none. Story of my ligh. It's good that I'm packing on these plans now because I owe it to myself to act on these things once I get moved in. Hah, see, basically the music video for his song. Sorry, though. I hesitated long enough. Just, how to sync it all up when you see it. All those things that get their chance to get repeated.

Probably actually a good thing to go through phases of favorites and styles, though. Genre phases, and all that. Because it gives you a chance to validly build your pallet. Er, I mean. I'm literally using the turn of phrase "build your pallet" from the wine-tasting guy who was on Conan a long time ago. Conflicts, just voice kind of surprised that I'm using these words. Devil on my shoulder? Er, that is if the whole cynic thing is actually evil. Heh. "Why not try them all?"

Oh of course. What sets this day apart from today... well that whole thing I just explained, kinda. Also my time sitting in both rooms to see which one I actually want. Hah, literally the next time I read this I will have known which room I ended up picking. It's just these days of kind of drinking these Gatorades that are stacked up at the top of the stairs, here. Ways to remember a place I don't want to remember. Also, how do I tap into that part of me that kinda feels bad anytime something good happens? Something feels unsure about right now. I guess it's the end that'll count. I have to promise myself to maintain, you know? Who know? Wait. Hey what's up. I'd have to actually have that same amount of edgy determination that I had when I made sure we were able to move into the house. I ended up saying the right things. The right convincing words. Not manipulative, though. See? Doubt.

Kind of like that Larry 3000 example of time fraying apart. The cards said I had got control of conscious and unconscious thoughts. Either that, or I was going to. Minor? Subject to change, I'll bet. It's fine. Just a lot of dignity falls through broken promise. Ok, I'm having coming up with things to have said. So I'll keep it up. Gah that entertainment business is goofy. Nah, just break it up into its two components. Entertainment? Well, see for me that just what I'd like to see. Things I'd like to see. Like, when you wake up one day and kind of want to go jogging, but you also want to record a song for yourself to jog to. So you fart it out, and go jogging the best jog you've ever done. Ok, before the second component, I want to hear another example. Hm. Ha, ok, here's one. Ever feel like you've been deprived of a childhood? No. Well, let's say you were deprived, and you never got your saturday morning cartoons. Hah, I like how this one is going. Yeah, you can sit and just create a cast of goofy superheroes that teach you lessons you probably didn't even know you knew. Yeah, but the saturday morning television angle specifically- could also probably do some campy live action rescue ranger er hah hey why not Powered Range-men?

Yeah, I see what I mean. Still feel like something is missing.. Plus I could write stories based upon book titles that I've never read. Like, how they give off the impression of something far out. Basically judging books by their cover, yet being convince that your judgment is actually what is in the book. Ok, then the business part. Yeah, I've had this conversation before. I know. Oh yeah? Nice paychecks, then. Hey. Well, I guess I have some capital now.. Hopefully. Wait, but "entertainment" was given a different spin on what it means in the context of "entertainment business." Hm, well then. Four components. Each word in half. The word in its connotation with the two word phrase, and how it benefits yourself. Though, business begins to explain itself.

Alright, well I think I've had enough. Well, I haven't. So, pace.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


There's all this gross laundry detergent crud sauce all over my dresser. I've been packing lot of my junk and getting all that stuff together. Already moved some stuff over, and had my first urine of the new house. Gah, I'm speaking in Product Placement terms. Anyway, spent the last couple of house making sure all my little things are in boxes, taping them up, and setting them aside. Impressive dinner.

I started out the day, just kinda looking at the snow because it's a lot more than any other time it has snowed here recently. I tried to figure out what to do with it. It wouldn't pack into any shapes, though. Oh yeah the first thing I did was walk in it while I was in pajamas and no shoes or socks. But it's quicker to melt this time too. So, it's basically dying out.

The water heater is electric, though. So that means hot water even if we don't turn on the gas right away. Physically possible to live in the house right now. Of course.

Ok, but yesterday. How often do you see a real live or life shark, swimming above your head, and snow in the same day? Definitely accomplished, yesterday. Today, I've put in the work for accomplishment but I don't feel like I'm done. Maybe yesterday's only accomplished in hindsight.

Paranoia of displaying what song is stuck in my head right now? Or to even mention using websites. Not liking to use anything with copyright capital letters.

Ok, they callin me. Wait, no

Friday, February 12, 2010


Lying there for a while. Hide under the blanket. Think about some other apartment. About time to wake up. Mom walks in room. What time is it? It was around 10, that's when the aquarium actually opens. I wasn't still sleepy, but yeah got up.

Also kind of just trying to come up with things to say, meanwhile. Eye-catching bs. Redeeming self for typing mistakes. One or the other. Obviously able to come up with a lot of good junk, but it's all coming out like gross and corn starch. Brown with corn starch. The fact that I'm slightly more familiar with corn starch. Flax seed. Roaches.

So, it was time to go. Actually did shower first thing, which I don't usually do. I shower in the mornings, yes, but not on the first trip to the bathroom. Not here, at least.

Actually had to "eenie meenie miney mo" about whether or not to wear what I was planning on wearing. Turns out the clothes I ended up picking happened to be right next to each other. I guess this red hoodie does make me look bigger, then. I saw my picture that they took at the aquarium. It's a mess. I've been going to work like that. Gah. Such a waste because this is always a slimming shirt. Ugh. No, my point is thatWait why I am missing this stuff. I'm out of it. Wish that had the connotation I was going for. All of this. It changes.


Oh yeah, and at the aquarium, it started to snow. We didn't know until we overheard someone telling one of the employees. Such a drastic change, too. What the hell, I can't remember the significance in chronological order. Frozen pizza, with a pun written on the box. The jokes people make of my names. Names. This is leading me somewhere, I'm sure. Ah yes, had to memorize loads of names. Photographic memory- of course! Hah. A call back. That's why the first person to explain photographic memory to me just peeked her head in to say hi. That John Mayer situation going on is just one of those stupid things people are wrong about. Yeah I was playing with photographic memory today. On the way back, I memorized a few license plates. I still remember them. One of them had the number(s) 1940, which might end up having some type of fallacy of a significance. The other was 9874. Less attractive because it doesn't look like a past year. I guarantee if I lived in a year like 9874, I would vomit at least once in that year.

I find myself asking why none of those girls who consider themselves to be the' type of girl to just tell people off' and what not, never say anything like that to me when I know that what I'm saying- reflected in their mindset- would definitely stir something up. Also just looked up "phobia of people's names" and ended up with nomatophobia. Could just be some jive. I honestly didn't think I'd be unable to focus at the end of this day. Hah Mr. Jones.

It sanowed yeah it sanowed today and there is the possibility of not having to work tomorrow. There. Already earned my 100 for the week, though. I guess the problem is that I either have a headache from my jaws again, or I have a headache from trying to concentrate which actually wouldn't even cause a headache.


Thursday, February 11, 2010


Mmm, some didn't feel like I got a good sleep because I think I was having dreams that I was working. Dreams about sleeping on the job and getting in trouble. Of course I was tired in the dream because in real life I was sleeping, so each time the dream-me tried to snap out of it, the real me would wake up. Another incredible example of the dreams that I used to have. Except they used to be about school... they were my version of the whole nightmare of showing up to school in underwear. Actually, I think I had something like those dreams, too. Luckily, today at work was nothing like that. I merked work today. Until the part where I had no idea where to put the samples tray. I might get a warning about that, later on. Although it might not matter because I'm off tomorrow... But yeah, I was awesome today. I answered customers' questions like it was just somethin to do. Badass. Speaking of which, I'm going to buy a wallet. Hah.

And where yesterday ties into today was the whole shyness thing. I was incredibly introverted yesterday. Even when the other 18 year old made an attempt to kinda meet me for the first time, I was just all in work-mode. Stumbling over words and just not able to consider the fact that other people are human beings. Kind of. I mean, before I went to bed last night yeah I did think of how- when I was in school, every adult was just an authority figure. Then, when I turned 18 all the teachers, to me just seem "yeah ok big whoop." Now it's the students I have to worry about talking to. They're all youngs, and I'd look like a "creep" if I talked to any of them. What I'm doing right now is admitting the problem. If I am not a cresp, then it shouldn't matter. My thought process, though, was that now that I'm 18, then everybody who is an adult is just basically a peer. I don't have to feel so pressured by them. Hm, haven't told myself that in a while. I'd just been kind of scared of new folks, all over again. Like I used to be.

Anyway, I'm going to the aquarium tomorrow of course. Better remind myself not to wear my belt. They have metal detectors. I hope I get to borrow a camera, to prove that I'm not so poor that I can't just go to the aquarium whenever I feel like it. Haha, nah. Ugh. Though. The point is that, we can also start moving this weekend. I'm amused at this still. I made this happen, kinda. Like things were set in place, and I just had to do my part. I guess that's how it works. Keep feeling like I'm forgetting things. Not like "feel like I'm forgetting something" but it's the way I felt in my dream last night. 'I could get in so much trouble if I get caught napping.' Gah, where the hell is Justin? What if I was just kind of meant to go to New York, all of this time? I never felt too particular about New York at all, but now that I think about how they are about calling browns "spanish" or "Puerto Ricans," the city might kind of mach my mindset. Agh, not based upon only that, but if that's just what brown folk are, then.. Heh. No way to explain it. I'll try it, one day.

is this it?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Cold Supposed

Today is just generally a "cold" day. That's the basis. Other things are little sprouts from just the factor that it feels these temperatures when you're outside. It stings.

I woke up and I was having these dreams, kind of while I was waking up and then when I was awake. I don't know. I dreamt that I was at a combination of Woodpointe (apartments by the school, where Nick lives) and what is now called Madison at the Knolls (where I used to live.) I was having an internal debate on whether or not I should be trying to impress a certain point. It was already a situation where things would end up negative because of how things always go in the past, but when I didn't think about it- I was kind of impressive. Then, when I thought about it, I wasn't able to control what I was saying and then I had to keep making up for what I was saying. That's how my dreams are. Hah, that's that scheme of how all my old dreams used to be. Good to know I actually am back. Oh and there were breakfast burritos there, too. When I kind of woke up, I tried to focus on that dream for a while and I think I ended up falling into another dream that kind of continued it. My debate that I was having caused my to try to prove to everyone that I was having this debate, so I went as far as to take a bus for no reason. On the bus, there were some folks I had went to school with [now that I think about it, they might've been the ones I happened to see the last time I rode the bus.] and they were kind of shouting or something. I listened, and when I realized that I was on this bus for no reason, I tried to find the thing you pull to get off. I think I woke up.

Oh and before all of that, I think I had a pretty stressful dream. I don't know. I think I had a few. In that one way.

So, today. I made sure to get some sleep. I had a bunch. Had to bathroom, but I had to wait. Secret shop, 10 piece chicken er. Wrok. Brought back some frees. Tash brought me some DVDs. I'll be doing that before I sleep. A couple of shirry films, somewhat. One of them is actually an incredible idea. It should be in a list of mine, one day. This is all that's kind of going on in my life for this moment. I'd try to seize the day or the whole 'live like it is your last' stuff, but I'm not even sure. I guess I can't say I don't.

And yesterday, literally nothing to explain. I was so close to just posting a review about the new Fox series Past Life because I actually sat down to watch it. That's what I did, yesterday. Put more money in the bank, I think. So, I guess it adds up. The days, I mean.

Good Nigh

Monday, February 8, 2010

Keep On Going Further

Back cracks. "This doesn't exist until I put it on the paper."

Laundry, then scouting for some "we buy golds." Not really, just the one in the mall. Felt bad for some reason, but we got a check. Yeah. If we get messed up, then oh well. Turns out, I'm not greedy, though. Good to know. Oh and before that, we sold 2 dvd's. I got $4.38 store credit. See, not too bad. What I was expecting. Finally deposited that check, and ok should stop talking about money. Just the case.

Heh, since no one else'd find it interesting, I kind of have to mention that leprechaun I saw yesterday, peeking out from behind the corner in the one gold place we went to. Now just one of those nights where I watch interviews. Sorry, but today was just more moment.

That's enough.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Near The

Went to see the house again, today. My idea for the basement seems to work out perfectly. Got a little anxious when I thought about if I really know what I'm doing. I'll know if things don't work out. This video I just watched kind of gave me some hope, though. One of my newer favorite aspects about making movies- set design.

Yeah, I'll be fine. Tried to sell some more gold, today. Wasn't too sure about the price the guy offered. So, we didn't sell. I wonder if this is like one of those representations of this period of time in history.. How "we buy gold" appears more often and people talking about moving and getting jobs.. I'm completely unaware of the times, so I hope I don't end up speaking for anyone. When we do end up selling it, it should be enough to get utilities switched over or something. No rent until March. Hm. Too good to be true, so far. Either way, I'm ready to check "Live somewhere else" off of my 6 month to-do list. Then, I'm sure all the other crud will get checked off after.

That's basically it. Practiced my future 'daily routine' in the basement, too. Then of course, when I mention that, I think of how much of a nail in a coffin type of thing the phrase 'daily routine' must be, but ha I actually wrote an essay on that general scenario. Not exactly the same as what I wrote, but it's kind of just "light at the end of the pregnant" or "hope on the horizont" kind of thing because it's just. hey. Like shore, too. That's kind of why religion uses so many metaphors and references about light. I've come to discover that religion is based in a lot 'recovery.' Whenever you're out of it, you can always just take whatever has been distracting you and replace it with whichever church you like. Some people need it a lifetime, some people need it just to get back on their feet. There we have it. Nothing too assertive in my words to make anyone feel too strongly, right? I'm not trying to make a new point, but I'm making sure that I know that I've noticed it. Should've used examples, but that's for another time.

Now, I'm convinced I was thinking about that earlier today. Even though the only reason I brought it up just then was to explain to myself why

Literally just got distracted by that gold necklace hanging from a thumbtack. I've become like that one Gollum hey. Literally no reason not to just hock it. Chill up my spine. Actually imagining getting a meat cleaver and cutting it in half so it looks like it's still there, while I take the other half. Heh, well at least I still have patience to fall back on.


Saturday, February 6, 2010


Just woke up, right quick. Ate that slice of carrot cake that I was trying to save room for. It's ok, though. Worked the bulk section. I was out of it, today. Self-esteem, kinda. Eh.

Actually, last night, I knew that at some point today my mood'd be altered by the fact that I'd become sleepy later on. Just sleepy, not the other mood alternators.

Activated debit card, two days off tomorrow and the day after. First weekend in a while, and it's not even on a weekend. I have somewhat of a little day planned for tomorrow, though. Nothing huge, but just a casual errand day. That I approve of.

Then, next Friday, I get to go to the aquarium. So, I'm good. Oh yeah, this one mad who gave the vibe of a stand-up comedian was talking to me today. Talking about health foods and giving off the aura of a confident worker. He must know a thing or two. Literally.

ok, plus I was probably subconsciously slipped the notion of wanting to eat lasagna for dinner tonight, now that I think about it. Alright, already ashamed of wasting space for today.


Friday, February 5, 2010

Leisure Cout

yawn oh yeah, no. Another failed attempt to try to see that movie in theaters. Can't see why it isn't meant for me to see the movie, though. I think it's a money thing. I have the money. I may have even set aside the money to see this movie. Is it not the right time? Why would this movie, of all movies, only be at one theater and have only 2 obscure showing times. Seriously. It's like one of those plot devices. It's just there to kind of, fill the list of movies currently playing. Oh my god. Now it's not even playing anymore. Well, here goes a note to self. [Make sure that one day you get a private screening of 'that movie' in a theater.]

I'm not into just seeing movies. It's just this one that I was specifically trying to go see. So. Oh well. Imagine spending all that money on making a movie, specifically for the purpose of not letting anyone watch it. What is this, a Dear Diary type of deal? Anyway. Day off and did nothing completely worth while. Learned some and got some ideas, but not a jam-packed day.

The plan was to deposit my check, today. Decided to wait. Though, I did get my debit card in the mail along with a college brochure. Just two separate things in the mail on the same day. Tomorrow, I have work in the morning but it's grocery, so it's easier when associated with having to wake up early. I mean, morning + produce = 7:30 and tedious. The fact that I already know that.

So, I've decided on the basement, I think. I haven't told my mom I want the basement, but she said it didn't matter which room I chose. My only problem is that there'd just be an extra room upstairs and even if someone did move in with us, they'd have to share that bathroom with my mom. Haha. My plan is to kind of make a bedroom-studio thing, where one half- the closest to the closets and bathroom- would be the bedroom and the other half would be this studio idea I have. I hope I don't sound ridiculous, but at the expense of whoever, I can see exactly what I'd be doing. Like, when I have a day to myself, I can: wake up, shower [YES], teeth, and get right to work. And when ideas hit in the middle of the night.. well hey. Office, too, for a place to keep those big-ass notebooks that take up space all the time. Then just kind of pull all-nightons.

Basically, the same feeling of 'too-good-to-be-hey' but that's how I felt about being able to get the house back in the first place. Still, yeah, other people in mind. Actually, now that I mention it.. Ha, I was at Nick's house today. Fide had just taken a shower when I got there. Alex didn't say anything but she took a picture of me with her phone for the sake of posting it immediately. Nick mentioned something about "everyone thinking they're number one until about the age 23." One of those things I didn't want to take his word for, but I felt like if I was just ignoring something I happened to hear then I'd be fooling myself, yet if it holds true, then it probably means it doesn't matter if I so happened to hear it. Kind of welcoming another paradox, about now. Heh, feeling comfortable around paradox.

Oh and that's why I brought that up. That one tense conversation.. concept of "which one of us is going to buy houses for the others." Er, that's what I like to call it. That's how we all found each other, I believe. It all started when we died. Basically. Just how poor guy just "one day I'm gonna make it big and do something nice for all my friends." when you can tell he's.. in short... missing something. Something. Missing a certain concept that all people who have "made it" are aware of. Or missing the point of why you feel like you should do this in the first place. Or just missing the ability to feel the same way you did when you said that. Can't just "I'm not saying that's not me" or "Not saying I'm one of those." I just kind of like how it's a floating frustration. You state how you're going to make life better for your friends. And your friends just stare. Or, if one of them's in a specific bad mood, then you get a "you say that shir all the time." type of thing. I guess it has to happen when it happens. Now is the time where the hindsight proof of the future is being made. You know, to look back and "oh yeah TreadTreadTread was always the better one when it came to CradleCrabCredit."

I wouldn't look so hypocritical if everyone else wrote this type of crap, every day.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Seriously No Trend

Just need to remind myself to check that other 'professional' email account.

It's crazy to watch honey dripping into a bigger container of honey. I got a check. I don't know where it's from, though. Plus, I'm lying. Oh yeah, off tomorrow. I deem that my final chance to see that movie I've been trying to nab the opportunity to see. Agh, one of these 'update' types of posts. Well, I have much more to offer each day, but the problem is that, while I'm in someone else's house- the internet is stopped at 12 or earlier. Bullpie. But if self-indulgence and crazy notions about the future is (or are) the reason(s) I need to keep track of what the hell has the ability to go on...then, fine. I wonder if I'll have the.. oh my god I can't remember the 'I' word. Ok, "initiative." The initiative to ugh... 'draw' then I'll at least know I can think (heh can't remember that figure of speech) at the... _______. Or something.

That's what usually happens. Clearly, I'm allowed to give myself a break, but I can't tell. I don't have "anything on my mind." Seems like it's just goals. One of those "anything you set yer mind to. Hey." binds. I'm basically (ha a reason to use the word again) involved in this glitch where I'm able to describe a day that I wasn't supposed to remember.

Oh yeah, I need to sit and think of every single memory I can remember. I bet I can. The first one is always that time I fell off the go-cart at my dad's friend Martin's house. I can't remember if that where I got those scrapes on my face or if it was that time I feel on some brick stairs at the projects. Heh the go-cart was probably more bodily. Oh yeah and the time I laid on my back right in an ant pile, pretending to be a dog trying to get its belly rubbed. Uncle Jerry's friend, or whoever, rubbed calamine lotion on my back. Ugh. Still, if I can remember I poured honey and got a check today, then I should be good. Ah, and Tash driving me back here with Chaz. They got their apartment or whatever. That cake I ate today because it expired today. How I vividly remember one week ago, them being put in display. While my mom was being forced to listen to a joke that someone was forced to try to say. Pretending not to know specifics.

Ha, the juxtaposition of all the stupid places you end up in the course of your life. Hiking with people who would later become enemies, while imagining that you're a monkey or something. The first time I ever got a hold of the word "bee-otch" er "beyotch" or whatever. My aunt's Marilyn Manson phase and how incredibly unlikely that'd seem, kind of. Using my camcorder to record a music video about a "bandanna and a vendetta," not fully knowing what a "vendetta" is. And I'll always remember when I broke my favorite root beer mug. That entire apartment. Oh man, those kittens. Star. A dog named "Tank?" Gah, this all has existed.

Memories. Which reminds me. Photographic memory.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

To Do This Quick

Er, brought some apples back. For myself. Who knows if the car thing will end ok or end badly. A lot of those mini instances where you kind of get excited and feel evil because it's something that you've trained yourself to think is risque. Hell, at least I'll still have my library card. At least I'll have some people to put in a good word, when I'm done. In more ways than one, the way I see it. Pieces of chicken and pieces of orange peel. Sounds like kitsch, speaking of which. Yet, for those of the culinary favor. Sounds Asian, in English terms. If even. Still unrelated.

The cookies that my mom made, half chocolate and half orange-peel somethin, plus the secret shop which involves the chicken. That's what happened. Then, who knows if the mail is going to bring us her check, in time. If not, then oh well. All of these tense relationships with folks I think I get myself into. I keep just writing it off as "gah should I say something? nah, when I get that fancy camera I'll just make a video explaining that person and I's relationship. Then, they'll get it." but that's just kind of.. lost in life.

And my 'little group of friends' are probably the worst. That's the only way I was allowed to finish that sentence. I'm sure I'm not the only one who sometimes feels like their friends are just chaos without them. That's a reason to want to move away. Too late, now. Knee deep. That's another reason I wanted to have the little picnic concert thing. So pleasant, right? Who'd oppose? Er maybe the house'll help. Ha, contrast. I mean, by that, even if the house doesn't allow me to mend my social (ugh) life back to health then it'll definitely power up that person I used to be when I lived there before. Now, to clarify the 'social' thing, it's just... I'm not necessarily dependent on other people but a good and healthy team just makes things feel like they're moving because you're hearing your progress from all different sides. I literally just made most of that last part up because I pressed the J key in order to make sure italics was off.

If I can't trust the people that I thought I found in the most appropriate places, then who needs any of them? Er, that is, in the possibility of me not being able to work together with some people. Gah. Hell, for me to understand at least. If all else fails, then I'll do what I can by myself. Like summer '07. Insane power house thing going on. The alts like me, at least. New groups of people, sounds like. Can't complain unless I know I'm not happy in the end.

ok, before internet is deleted for everyone.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


4-8. Longest feeling day, though. All I can think about right now is those disgusting, moldy, green lemons that sprayed spores into my face basically. Hope I'm not infected. Worked with my sister. I think I might have eaten pretty well today. I must have been legitimately hungrier than other days. Deprive, kinda.

Today was Fide's birthday. Too bad I couldn't see him or whatever. I'm not one to care about having to make sure to see someone just because it's their birthday, but heh I mean especially since I'm supposed to be celebrating holidays and birthdays this year. Not saying I didn't celebrate, just saying that would have instated or whatever. Heard he got some of his beloved Steven B's pizza. Also, yeah, our groundhog didn't see his shadow.+++

Tash not movin' in with us though. Yet. I'll figure it out. I got this far, at least. I can make something up. At the expense of wasting space, I kind of just want to type about something else. If I could just figure out what can set me off into some other, I guess, tangent.. then I can feel like I did something. I guess I can just be like.. this is a checkpoint.

The house is check. That money I just happened to get, checked. Er, well I mean. I already have a to-do list. The only thing bound to expire is a movie I feel that I need to see in theaters. Heh and that's not even... Ok, some way to get back into career mode. (ha, now I get it.) I'm just going to take a bit to see where I was before I got this job. Hm, well those moldy lemons could make for a good stupid sci fi joke idea. Especially since I'm probably pretending to feel dizzy right now. Yes! That window I had opened earlier is gone! Oh my no. I've become one of them. Heh, at least it wasn't a a.


Monday, February 1, 2010

Even Better

We were just given the key to the house. Just like that. In a month's time we should be fully ready to just go ahead and be there. We could start moving now, but we'd have to have the utilities in our name to be allowed to. New carpet and some other nice looking flooring. Can't wait to start various junk drawers. Something about it makes me nervous, but I'm ok with it. Tash did seem to kind of calm down once she saw it. So if she doesn't move in, then I'll have to spend more obviously.

Kind of proud that something, either out of my imagination or through one of those supposedly 'humans made this up' ideas, actually came true. At this rate, I'll be... washed up in no time! Like, soon I can do the whole "anything you set yourn minde to" thing, but who knows. Egg rolls. And the backs of my heals are itching because of the healing. Gah, it seems routine, but I don't think I've ever worn the skin off of my heels that bad before. Then, I've never been that careful about them either.

So, two things on my mind. Two main topics. Get these out of the way, then move on. Well, I mean. Two things that are just going to need some time to settle since so many ideas spawn from the specifics. One is, of course, the house and all the things that would be possible. The other is my ability to just go for it and talk to people. Luckily, the other day, someone I actually didn't completely know about started the conversation. And right on time, that stupid timed internet cut-off thing turned off the internet at 12! w00t. So, now, not even sure if it's ok to return to that conversation because I don't want to seem like a cresp especially after I look poor after internet cut off thing. (internet is actually set to turn off at midnight, at this house. disgusting.) Ruined someone's night. I'm not trying to compare that one to other situations because I'm just trying to be nice. Not trying to, I can't help it. Still, I guess it doesn't hurt as bad as it seems to just start by saying "hat" oops I meant "hey" type of thing.

Build friendships, I suppose, is the point. Hm, I should repeat that somehow....
Build friendships, I suppose, is the point.
well yeah. If you (in this lalala world) are someone's friend, then all the other junk just doesn't matter!!!!!!!!!!!! I've no doubts, realistically. One name that I keep on picturing right now because I'm saying this. He seems like he could be a friend. Not the same person as the other, or the other other, but I'm sure he won't disappoint at helping me practice building some new 'ships. Think we've been trying to bag him for a while. Party members. Gah parties. house fantasy, again. Man, I hope it's like I've been imagining.



About Me

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Well, as far as I can tell.. I am a man now, but like... I am a guy who thinks he has like good morals and virtues or something but also thinking those are stupid therefore coming off as a bad prick rather than a good prick.