Even

Alright, so an update on the hospital junk is in order, right? Well, yes, my dad is doing fine. Nick is in the hospital though. Blood clot in lung. Hrmph.

Well, yesterday. Too many things, really. Should have visited my dad, somehow. Should have watched the Little 5 Halloween parade. Should have met my friends at the air show. No progress made, in the least. Eh, those are days when I end up stacking more responsibilities. Not taking advantage of too many things to do becomes free time which becomes more things to do. I'm just waiting for myself to get stressed out, which I thought couldn't possibly happen but there's a chance it could sneak up on me. It can end up "people do that all the time, and they actually do stuff for a living," insulting the fact that I am not doing crappy physical labor or it can just be the fact that maybe my steady-yet-straying attention span won't allow it. You know. Because I am constantly paying attention to a lot of things. Hell, i don't know.

Whoop, a hospital pic of my dad just appeared. Heh. Weird to see. I'm actually just waiting for this to be over with. All people can do about family in the hospital.. gah. Gloating. That's despicable. I don't care who thinks I'm not doing anything to support. I am. This is what I would do in this situation. Let's face it. No telling what it says about me. Still, I know my dad knows better than those others who are blowing it out of pr... you know what, forget it. It's only going to sound like I'm aggravated. This is like one of those things famous people do on reality shows. Complaining about exploitation or feigning sympathy. I won't. No use in complaining about what people actually do. I mean, you can tell yourself it's a plot device and all that crap, you can tell yourself that's just how some people are, or you can tell yourself it's a difference between: men and women, feelers and thinkers, or intellect. Whatever. It's only going to top off my latest confusion about how many ridiculous opinions there are in the world. Er, the opinions themselves are never really ridiculous, but that fact that there is no "the" thing. No one wins, actually. Hm.

How I react in situations merely becomes "sit and watch". Mreh. So, I really just want to say that everything I do is a sterile reaction to the world. Really. Really. I have to be purely reacting the way things show up. The way they appear. It has to be. I mean, this is really not an opinion about myself in the world. It is what it actually is. As long as it doesn't look like I'm singling myself out for some stupid self-centered approval. Like, you get to a certain point after you've heard loads of things and thought lots of ways where you just keep talking despite all the ways you'd have to be contradicting yourself.

Hell, whatever. I'm fine. Oh wait, other folks are in pain.