How Easy It Is Is.

Today was Matthew's birthday. For the first time in any conscious history, a person has gotten a birthday cake with "Happy Birthday Though" on it. I feel privileged and not flattered. His dad had reserved a row of tables at this Mexican restaurant next to his mom's house. It was the first surprise party I've ever been to. I didn't even know they existed. We had been waiting in our seats, just anticipating the face and first sounds he was going to make upon seeing everybody there, after he was understandingly reluctant to go in the first place. Afterward, we went to the movies and saw Precious.

Wait, short and simple I guess. Before that, all I did was help my mom do her shops at 3 different GNC stores. Things are going ok so far, I think. Something tells me that an old method of mine deserves retiring, though. I feel that I definitely should put on some man shoes. I'm myself, grown up, but I think I owe it to myself and others to return my end of the bargain. <- That sentence was basically just a bunch of cliches about deals crammed into a sentence. All I can gather from what I mean, is that I need to:

1. For mine self: I need to make it apparent that I am going to accomplish each one of those things I have written down in that notebook.
2. Forn Others: I need to show my gratitude for all they've done for me. I won't do anything silly to show it. They'll get it, and they'll know why- or not.

These ain't resolutions as hell. They're conditions because of the fact that the common theme is "deal." I can imagine how this could be mistaken as one of those stomach ache entries about "alright, things are gonna be better a'cause I'm gonna do thisssss.." but I kind of look at it as myself just having all this potential energy (and I mean potential energy, not "potential" because that part is already established) that I forgot to tell everybody they can tap into. For me to select a group of friends, and show them the potential energy, is kind of selfish. That way, everything I do actually is legitimately for myself. I can be like all narcissistic in a way, like I'm supposed to, and still cover it up. I'm distracted, though.

Still kind of ashamed that they still have the wrong idea about it. Rosebud situations.

What I'll do, since I'm gonna be talkin to people more often anyway, is just kind of tell them the truth. That's what I know for fact I'm going to do with my life. My career is taken care of, it just has a floating job title. I can tell my friends' rich parents I'm doing these things, if I need to. They like that type of thing for some reason. They still suggest college. I'll start using the "I'm to nervous about college" thing for this season. I'm good. I'm sure it is in the range of easy.